out of the shadows
by paulalou
Summary: after living in exile,Elzbeth and her mother rejoin the wizarding world, but war changes people,lost love changes people and finding a past you didnt know you had can be the worst of all. RonHermione Harryoc
1. Chapter 1

_**disclamer: don't own anything you recognise...that would be j.k and w.b**_

**_pairings : hermione/ron harry?_**

_**Combustion.**_

The rain fell heavily large puddles forming in the grass; the air was heavy so heavy that no one would feel like smiling even if there was something to smile about.

They all thought they had seen the last of this, four years on from the end of the war this pain was supposed to stop.

However, just because Voldemort had fallen didn't mean that all of his Death Eaters had fallen along side him, some sat it their dank cells in Azkaban, incapable of rational thought. Others however went in to hiding, only to avenge their master's demise.

This was what brought them here today; this is what brought this band of people to a small graveyard that already held more friends than enemies within its sacred walls.

Now all who had loved her were mourning the youngest of the Weasley's life.

A small mound covered with bright flowers lay freshly filled, surrounded by mourners who had hoped that this day would never come, that the family that had been hit the worst would not have to face this again, saying goodbye to a loved one that was nothing more than a defender for all that was good in the world.

Buried along side two of her brothers and her father before her, Ginny Weasley was interned in this very graveyard that I stand in a year ago to the day.

Beside me, Neville lays a small wreath upon the grave. I feel like I'm intruding on his grief, I knew Ginny for such a short time before … well before she was killed.

Yet she was the closest thing to a friend that I had ever had, I never grew up in the wizarding world, at least not the one that everyone else had done. Until my mother moved in to the flat above Fred and George's I had never met many wizards of my own age. I never went to Hogwarts my mother choosing to home school me saying it was safer for me this way.

I put one arm around Neville comforting a friend in need, a friend that I found when I needed one.

"Elzbeth, we should go." he said looking up. I follow the line of his gaze and see three very familiar figures heading in our direction.

Three faces I have seen from the front of the daily prophet many a time, but they aren't my friends.

There the hero's of the war, Neville was there he told me all about how the three of them had gone after Voldemort; the wizarding world had them to thank.

The red head that reminds me so much of Ginny looks up and at me a Neville.

He jerks his head in a greeting.

Words don't need to pass. Neville and Ron go far back; these are Neville's friend, Ginny's extended family. I feel awkward I should leave.

I kiss Neville on the cheek.

"I'll see you back at the shop." I say silently in to his ear.

I turn to look at him from the gate.

Neville hugs the girl. Hermione sobs on to his shoulder, Ron stands with a hand upon his baby sisters' grave.

Harry however is watching me. I bow my head as I walk from the graveyard, the small town of Ottery St Catchpole dances in the late July sun.

There hero's I'm nothing, nothing but an intruder on a unconventional family's grief.

I shake the snow from my outer robes as I knock on the large doors of Hogwarts castle.

It's every bit as dramatic as my mother always told me it was, it had rose out of the distance like a fairytale dwelling, my imagination had ran riot on the short walk up here from the village.

The caretaker and his cat show me up to the Headmistresses office; it circles my ankles menacingly as we stand outside a large stone griffin.

"Miss Miller to see you Headmistress." the wizened old caretaker looks at me with a look of distain.

"Elzbeth how lovely to see you again please do come in."

Minerva McGonagall is an old friend of my mum's they were in the original order of the phoenix together, it never fails to amaze me how she can command respect from something as simple as one look.

I shake her hand as I follow her up the steps.

I remember this room, my mother brought me here when I was young, very young, but I remember the faces that hung in the portraits, sentinels to the headmistress and the school that they used to run with grace and elegance.

"It never fails to amaze me how much you look like your mother." Minerva says offering me a seat beside the large fire; I accept gratefully as the snow has chilled me to the bone, the view on the walk was amazing the weather however was not.

"I understand you want me to stand in for a teacher?" I say accepting the cup of tea that has been offered in my direction.

"Just like your mother straight to the point I see." the older witch sinks in to the other chair . "Your mother assures me you have an unnatural talent in the potions department. I believe you passed with exceeds expectations in your newts did you not?"

"That's right." I smile to myself, that was the first time I travelled to London , the first time I met Neville and his Gran, he sat his newts the same year as I did, although I'm a year younger he had been in the hospital when the newts had been taken the year before.

"I'm sure you're aware of Professor Slughorn; I believe that he though highly of your mother."

"A little too highly, but he always did have favourites."

Minerva smiled over her cup of tea.

"Well he's decided to take indefinite leave, which leaves me in quite a predicament…we're dealing with the problem at the moment quiet amicably but…"

"It's not a solution to everyone's tastes I understand, Minerva if you think I'm up to the job I will start as soon as you need me."

The witch smiled at me from under the tight greying bun that she had perched upon her head.

"As soon as you can…"

"Then I should owl my mother and get her to send some things for me…"

"That can be arranged."

The witch rose to her feet and scrawled a note on a piece of parchment. She lit the fire and threw the parchment upon the flickering blue flames.

"Hopefully that will reach your mother and not the delightful young men your mother works for."

I smile; it was something in the way she described Fred and George Weasley as delightful that done it.

I follow her down the stairs and in to the ancient halls of Hogwarts.

She informs me of all the important points of the castle. The great hall the staff room, the kitchen.

I wonder if there's anywhere I can sneak a cigarette before realising I don't smoke, it just seamed like something that I should do, hide from a teacher with a cigarette, it's one of the rights of passage that I never got to go through.

We cross the entrance hall, four large hourglasses sparkle in red, blue, yellow and green, my eyes are drawn to the red, my mother was in Gryffindor, I never was told what house my father was in, she met him at Hogwarts though, she says I have his hair, dark as apposed to her wavy auburn locks. She never complains when I ask questions about him, she's just selective about the answers some times. I don't even know his name.

Minerva leads me of to a corridor to the right of the great hall; I feel the slabs sloping slightly.

"This will be your quarters." she said indicating to a tapestry, she pulled it aside to show me a dark maple wood door, she tapped the small black sign stuck to the door, it changed from 'Professor Slughorn' to 'Professor Miller' within an instant.

"Professor Miller, that sounds strange."

Minerva smiles at me as she pushes the door open; it looks like the inside of a tent.

"Horace did have extraordinarily lavish tastes." she said shaking her head. "It is yours to do with what you please."

I look around at the garish upholstery.

"Give me an hour you won't know the place." I say smiling.

"This whole corridor will be your responsibility, your store cupboards are the next two doors along, your classrooms are on the other side of the corridor and the Slytherin common room is at the end of the corridor."

I look up at her from a dusty throw I was examining…

"Slytherin?"

"If after a short time with us you feel that you are up to the job…"

"What? I don't understand?"

"Unfortunately, Horace asides from being the last man on the planet that liked to collect the little dolls that cover toilet rolls (I cast a look at the bathroom door what was I going to find in there?) Was also the last member of Slytherin house on the teaching staff, I'm not for one second saying you belong in Slytherin."

I shrug as far as I know I could be. I was never sorted.

"You want me to look after the Slytherin kids." I ask her.

"Something like that yes."

I look around the room.

"I'll think about it." I say quietly.

Minerva nods and leaves the room.

I throw myself down on the sofa, and then promptly get back up.

I pull my wand out of my pocket and point it at the couch; it turns in to a large leather number with black and white throw cushions. I sit myself back down on the sofa that clashes horrendously with everything else in the room.

I clean a mark off the end of my wand, twelve and a half inches ash and a dragon heartstring, I adore my wand, and I don't know what I would do without it.

After an hour by now entirely black white and red room looks nothing like the jumble sale that it did when I first walked in.

My things were delivered by a house elf wearing a maroon sweater and carrying my owl lightning. She had hooted dolefully as I let her out of her cage, she sat now atop a hat stand so ugly that I had to keep it.

After writing a brief note to Neville, curiosity gets the better of me.

I contemplate putting back on my robes which look so much more the part than my jeans and chequered shirt but then I figure I'm just going for a nose about right?

The corridor is dark and dank, obviously were underground, I tap my wand against the ingredients room door.

There are more potion ingredients that you could ever want, I wonder how much this stuff costs, I spot a bag of unicorn hair tied up on a high shelf that stuffs like gold dust but I guess there must be unicorns in the forest. Mum said there was.

I lock the door again behind me and walk over to the first classroom. I stick my head around the door, this is obviously the advanced classroom, and complicated potions are chalked up on the board.

I instinctively walk over and cross out a mistake.

I'm sure the headmistress doesn't want the school reduced to a pile of rubble.

I inspect some potions setting. The vials sitting on the teacher's desk.

Minor mistakes have been made that under a good teacher wouldn't happen, but then again according to the Prophet Slughorn wasn't ever that good of a teacher.

I leave the room and look in the next, it's empty bar a few turned over desks.

I leave and open the next door.

"It's polite to knock before you enter." comes a voice from the front of an almost too quite class.

"Sorry, I'm just looking around." I say looking at the person who had spoken. I have seen her before, although she looks a lot different with her curly hair tied back and in robes. She looks at me, a look of recognition on her face.

"Professor Miller I presume?" she asks.

I nod, walking in to the room instead of just being a head in a doorway. A murmur ripples around the class; I don't exactly look like your normal professor. My black hair is flaked with colours and I look so different to the woman standing at the front of the class.

"Class this is your new Potions teacher."

I walk to the front of the class; I watch the faces as they look away from me as I pass.

"Can I?" I ask pointing to the class in general. She nods and takes a seat at the desk.

"Right, are you lot first years?"

A small girl in the front row nods.

"Ok hand up who feels like all that you've learnt since you got here has gone over your head?" I look around no one raises there hand. "It's ok your not in trouble I just need to know what I have to go to work on."

A small boy in blue trimmed robes raises his hand.

"Ten points to Ravenclaw for being so honest." I say smiling as I walk through the desks.

Soon hands are shooting up all around me,. I look at Hermione who is watching me with intrigue.

"Right in that case." I twitch my wand and the books and cauldrons disappear to the far side of the room. "We need to get to know one another." I look around at the Ravenclaw's and Hufflepuff's in my class.

"First off, I insist you call me Beth, Miss Miller, Miss and Professor Miller is all my mother and that's alright for her, but I have name and I'll use it, secondly. If you have any questions ask me, thirdly, if I accidentally blow something up it stays between us alright?"

A blond girl nods at me.

"Right first things first everyone stand up."

The entire class do as there told.

I send the desks the same way as the cauldrons and books.

"Were going back to basics. I say picking up a cauldron and placing it in the middle of the floor." the class edge around it.

"Who wants to see what happens when you don't follow instructions."

After I've successful learnt every name in my class and reduced the cauldron to a molten mess on the classroom floor the bell goes and my class file out.

Hermione however stays behind.

"Interesting lesson."

"Well it worked for me."

Hermione looked at me she seamed to size me up.

"Your Neville's girlfriend aren't you, I saw you in the summer."

"I'm not Neville's girlfriend no, but I am his friend and I did see you in the summer yes, you of course need no introduction." I shake her outstretched hand.

"Whatever you read it was probably a lie."

"Ginny spoke highly of you."

Hermione nods quietly.

"Come on I'll introduce you to the rest of the staff."

I follow her out of the classroom obliterating the evidence of exploded cauldrons from my wake.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N this chapter is from Hermione's point of view the next will be Elzbeth ( pronounced Ls-beth so you know it's my mothers name I figured it was time I used it in a story lol ) and thanks to all the readers that followed from my other story's it's appreciated and to all the new readers welcome._

_**Disclamer: don't own don't sue or the piggmypuff gets it**_

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**Mother**

I watch Elzbeth as she looks at everything in detail, as if she's scared that if she doesn't remember it all it might disappear.

I knew Minerva was getting a new teacher, but I hadn't expected someone…well someone like Elzbeth.

She looks so familiar, like someone, I have known for a long time but not seen lately, the way people change ever so slightly.

"Did you go to Hogwarts?" I here myself asking her, if she did, she wasn't in Gryffindor, I knew each member of that house by name and she can't possibly be much more than a year younger than I can.

She shakes her head the colours on the tips move so fast they almost blur; I'm instantly reminded of Tonks, back before the end of the war, back when she used to be so much more than what she is today.

"My mum knew Voldemort wasn't gone, she said she could feel it, she taught me at home." her eyes cloud as if the thought of her childhood was painful for her.

"You would have been safe here." I say as we head down the corridor to the staff room, the last of the winter sun disappearing behind the trees in the grounds.

"Not with fudge in charge of the ministry I wouldn't have been." she sighs looking out across the grounds. "I always wondered what this place looked like, and now I've seen it, it makes me wish I'd come here even more."

I look at her; I can't imagine what it would have been like for me if I had known I could come to the school and then have that opportunity stolen from my grasp. Looking back now it seams so long ago…

"Mum thought twice about it, Albus even said I could join late if it was really what I wanted, but then that Basilisk trouble started and well, you know what mum's are like." she smiled and shrugged, looking past me to the large tapestry of Centaurs star gazing.

In fact, I do know what mum's are like, Molly Weasley is the closest thing I have left to a mother now, now that my own parents were taken from me by the war, and it still hurts. Waking up one morning and just knowing, Harry and Ron had fretted over me all day. Asking what was wrong, but I knew, I didn't need the owl that had arrived late that night baring the news. It was like a blank space where I just knew my mother would never get to say my name again, the name she had bestowed on me her legacy in this world. She had begged me not to go, not to get involved, but in the end, she had stood by and let me make my own decision.

My life was a series of what ifs. What if I had never come to Hogwarts? What if I never met Ron on that train? What if they had never saved me from that troll? What if I hadn't gone in aid of Harry? Moreover, what if Ron and I hadn't blocked that last attempt to finally finish off Harry? Would my parent's still be dead? Would Fleur have a husband and baby Grace have a father? Would Remus still morn his lost friends? Would Molly still have the one true love of her life that she still cried for late upon a night when she though that no one could hear her?

Molly Weasley, for years she had been there for all of them, their pillar of strength, the point around who we all rallied. Now a broken women, trying to hold together a Family that were more broken than any that had come out of the other side of the war.

She was my pillar of strength, but after the war, I became hers. Molly needed someone who understood, she needed someone who needed her the way Arthur had done. I had moved in to the burrow, alongside Ron and Harry we tried to make life go back to normal but how do you go back to normal when your entire life has been anything but?

If I had chosen not to go to Hogwarts what would have happened? Would it matter?

"Ok maybe I should rephrase that; you would have been perfectly safe as long as you weren't friends with Harry." I say pushing the door to the staff room open.

I watch as she takes in the decor, no doubt Minerva showed her around when she first got here, but Minerva doesn't believe in letting people have a look around, if I didn't know the inside of the castle like the back of my hand I would have been lost a million times over.

"This castle is so amazing, I think I've read Hogwarts a history a million times." she says as she looks at the tapestry of the Founders that hangs over the large stone fireplace.

"Really?" I never thought that someone like her would be in to something as mundane as books.

"Yeah, is it true that the staircases move?" she asks me, I can't get over the look of wide eyed wonder that will crop up on her face when she finds something new and exiting to talk about.

After discussing the castles many 'interesting' features, including the trick steps, moving suites of armour and the secret corridors, we head down to the great hall for dinner.

To her credit, she hasn't asked anything about Harry or the war, something that everyone seams to want to know about when people first meet me. Especially the students, the oldest ones the ones in my advance class were at school at the same time as me, they know what happened, and they know what I was up against. I was surprised that they even accepted me as a teacher, let alone gave me anything that resembled any sort of respect.

The younger students looked at me with a sort of awe, the same sort of crazed admiration that Ron had for Moody in the early days.

I had been there. I had lived it.

And everyone wanted to know what happened in the end.

Something's however should never be let out in public Harry had given one interview.

Harry's loyalty to the Lovegood's never faltered, as there's to him hadn't, Luna had been there. Luna had somehow against all odds managed to hold her own and protect a fallen Ginny against the Death Eaters.

But the interview had been short, like many things in the days after the war. Harry had tried to distance himself from everything and everyone except Ginny, Ron and myself.

People were left with more questions than answers, and people began making up rumours to ease the mind of the pore saps that still looked to the Daily Prophet for news.

They struggled to believe that Voldemort was gone.

However, he was, I had watched, cradling Harry's limp body and holding on to Ron as if my very life depended on it, maybe it did.

Voldemort's cold snakelike glare was fixed upon his face but the eyes were dead. Cold hard and empty.

I shiver involuntarily at the thought, it brings me back down to earth, Minerva has introduced Elzbeth to the student's, she's greeted with a response so much like that of Remus's, I feel like I've stepped back in time. Only the people who had been in her lesson clapped. I look to see her reaction, she nods in there direction then smiles at me. She isn't fazed by the glares that are omitting from the Slytherin table; Horace's slug club was made mostly from the wizarding stock that evaded the cells of Azkaban.

As the noise of the hall gathers I turn my attention to Elzbeth again, she's deep in conversation with Hagrid, who looks positively thrilled with the subject matter.

"I'd love to see it." Elzbeth says watching the half giant as if he is the most amazing thing that she has ever seen.

"Y'll love im, he's only a welsh green, but he's got some size on im." Hagrid growled happily.

"It was about time someone got around to changing that law, mum always said I was barking, but I say dragon's are like wand's they chose the owners." Elzbeth said smiling at Hagrid.

"I always wanted a baby dragon, well I had one didn't I Hermione?"

Baby Norbert, baby being a word used sparingly in this description, Hermione had yet to see a more gruesome looking baby, as long as a shed and with poisonous fangs that nearly caused Ron to loose his hand. I would need a memory charm from Lockhart not to remember baby Norbert. I nod knowingly Elzbeth sees me and takes it as a sign to change the conversation.

"Did the ministry ever find that Hippogriff that escaped then?"

I sigh and turn back to my dinner, if Hagrid's talking about Buckbeak we'll be here all night.

When dinner is finished I make my excuses and excuse myself, I make my way back to my study.

I have known this study under no less than six different owners, Quirrel or as Ron still insists on calling him garlic head. Back then the room was boring and non descript, not that you could blame the guy what with him having Voldemort sticking out the back of his head, I don't think he had much time for D.I.Y.

Lockhart, now he favoured himself and this room had shown that, on a warm day you could still get a waft of Madam Majestic's marvellous mousse, it could turn quite nauseating after a while.

I liked the room most under the residency of Remus, his hand stitched robes and basic necessities showed the humble man that he was, and even to this day, I still see him as the nice guy he always was.

Toad, I refuse to call her by her name, she made this room revaluating, and Snape? The less I say about him the better. Nearly seven years on and I can't forgive him for what he did, what he took from us.

Looking around my quarters the room wouldn't look out of place if Moody still taught here.

In fact, his foe glass hangs above my desk; I have too many enemies, even now.

I take out a quill and sit down at my desk.

Pig hops down and sits on my shoulder, waiting patiently. The once hyperactive bird now aware of everything and every one that he sees.

The sneak-a-scope spins on my desk, I look at the small feathery creature, and his amber eyes look at me apologetically.

"You had better catch it again when you get back." I say listening for the tell tale sign of scurrying upon the cold stone floors. The bird nips my ear affectionately. I don't want the pore mouse to become dinner to Crookshanks, the fact that the cat couldn't chase it even if he wanted to, to old and lazy now to do much more than lay on the large brown rug in front of the fire. I don't think he has long left, if he wasn't part knezzle I think he would have died long ago, pig however refuses to give up on him. The small owl will tease him, taking time to bring him in live mice and rats for some sort of exercise.

He watches me as I dip my quill in the ink on my desk and pull some parchment towards me.

Ron,

I know you still won't tell me where you are, or what you're doing, but you will not send this back with pig, you will answer me. I know you and Harry were spotted in London. Dean told me, I'm begging you let the Auror's deal with it Ron, you and Harry have done enough, let them do there job.

Getting yourself killed isn't going to solve anything, what would it accomplish? You're mother misses you, the twins miss you, I miss you.

I don't know why I bother; you never take in a word I write anyway.

Not that you're bothered, but I'm ok.

Minerva hired a new teacher for the Potions position, we've met her before, in the summer when we went to visit your mother, she was with Neville.

It's nice to have some female company in the castle, someone to talk to.

Ron please I am begging you get in touch, I cannot keep on doing this. I need to talk to you, see you anything; I can't deal with all this on my own anymore.

All my love Hermione.

I tie the rolled parchment to pig's leg. The owl looks at me questioningly.

"Go find Ron; I know you know where he is."

The owl looks ashamed of himself.

"It's ok I know that if you could talk you would tell me." I say carrying the bird to the window. A flurry of snow hits me in the face as I open the glass.

"Take care and bug him till he replies ok?" I feel him dig his claws into me affectionately before taking flight, well plummeting two stories before he gets a good gust under him. Stupid owl.

I close the window and head for the chair by the fire.

Crookshanks ambles across to me, nudging my leg as he reaches me. I pick him up placing him on my knee. He knows how lonely I get; now I really am alone. The castle can be lonely, and I know it's only a short walk down to the village to see Tonks and Remus, but they ask about Harry, Ron, and the lack of knowledge on my half-only causes me upset.

I watch the flames lick the stonework of the fireplace. Tonight will be another lonely night in the castle.

The knock at the door makes me jump, I had been thinking about long hot summers at the burrow. How I wish I could turn the clock back, make things all right again.

I get up and cross to the door. Opening it, Elzbeth is standing on the other side she smiles at me uncertainly.

"Yes?" I ask her shocked at the coldness of my voice.

"Are you ok? You left the dinner fast." she looks genuinely concerned. I let her in the room and she conjures hot chocolate for us as she sits herself down in the large leather chair next to my own.

"Want to talk about it?" she asks me gently.

I sigh. Talking about it would be good but I have almost a year's worth of talking to do. I look at her large green eyes look at me, I don't know why but I think I can trust her. I need someone, I don't have Ginny anymore.

"Yeah, it would be nice to talk about it." she nods and wafts her wand at the two hot chocolates.

"What did you do?" I ask sniffing the mug.

"I gave it a little bit of a kick, my mum's speciality." she says taking a swig of hers.

"You're getting me drunk?" I ask her taking a drink.

"Well Neville always said you were too uptight."

I laugh, god that feels good, it's so long since I laughed its like a weight has been lifted.

"So why are you sitting on your own when you could be giving me all the gossip on the rest of the staff?" she smiles and picks up the picture on the small table between us. The silver frame is tarnished I know because I look at it at least a thousand times a day.

"Bills wedding?" she asks looking at me.

I nod.

"Did Fred and George really set fire to the table?" she asks me as I see her eyes scan each happy smiling face in the photo.

"Did they tell you that?" I ask her.

"Fred has an interesting way with words, he also will tell you anything when he's trying to impress you." she puts the photo back. "Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I don't believe him, it's just he's a little selective with the truth."

I smile.

"Unfortunately that's just the way they are…and yes he did set fire to the table, one of there fireworks exploded under the top end, Bill and Fleur had left by then thankfully."

"Sound like it was interesting." she says smiling.

"Yeah it was." I think about all the things that happened at that wedding, all the promises made.

The way Ron had swore he would never let anyone hurt me. What about him hurting me? Was that not covered in the anyone category.

"So what's really bugging you?" she asks again. I take another deep breath and a drink from my mug.

"To be honest I'm worried about Ron and Harry, it's been months now since I last heard from them."

She nods. Why do I get the feeling that she knew this was what was bugging me all along.

"They went after the death eater that got Ginny didn't they?" she asks fidgeting with the rings on her fingers. "I thought they would, when Fred said that he hadn't heard from Ron that was what I thought had happened."

How can she sit there acting as if she knows, she doesn't even know the beginning of it, how can she be such a part of my life yet I never met her before. Why did Fred not mention her, why had Ginny not spoken of her, how did she know so much about my life yet I know nothing about her?

"If you don't feel comfortable talking about it I can go." she says getting up from her seat.

I shake my head and she sits down.

"It's just that well; Ginny was the only person I ever rally talked to about Ron."

"Would it be easier if I talked to you about my messed up love life?" she says shaking her head, "Because that could take some time."

Again, I laugh, again, it feels good; I think it's been to long since I had female company of my own age.

She refills our hot chocolate to her recipe she takes a sip.

"You're not the only one with Weasley shaped problems. Both Fred and George have been stalking me ever since mum got that flat above there shop."

I shake my head. "Both of them?"

"Both of them." she laughs. "I'm flattered, I mean who wouldn't be the Weasley boys are well the Weasley boys right, but to be honest I can't tell the difference. Fred calls me Elle and George calls me Beth that's the only reason I know who I'm talking too."

"Yeah I had problems early on." I am starting to feel better now, I don't know what it's but I feel completely at ease around her.

We chat for ages well in to the night. She tells me about the way she met Neville, how her mother had tried relentless amounts of times to get her to go out with him. The way she had finally given in to Fred's constant nagging for a date, only for him to take her to a quidditch match and spent the entire night talking to Oliver Wood. She had dated Oliver for a few months, but quidditch got in the way.

"Well now I told you all about me what about you?"

I sigh.

"Everyone thought that I was going to take Krum up on his offer to go live with him, start everything again, but I couldn't, I would have been running away from everything." I cradle the empty cup in my hand. "I couldn't leave the others, I couldn't leave Ron, not when he needed me the most, and I love him to much to add that to his list of hurt."

She looks at me, trying to work things out.

"So is he your boyfriend?" she asks. How I wish he was, how I lye awake at night wishing that the war hadn't changed him so much , wishing that the Ron that promised the world to me would come back and take up the promise that after the war we could be together. I shake my head.

"I can see where your problem lies." she says reaching over and taking my hand. "It will work out in the end."

"It will?"

"It will because everything always does."


	3. Chapter 3

**re-co-ignition**

There is a boy in my second year class called David. He has long sandy hair that falls unceremoniously in to his eyes every time he tries to read my untidy scrawl from the board. He rhythmically taps out the number of stirs in the potion on the side of the cauldron and disregards everything that anyone tells him. This morning he managed to create a perfect shrinking potion and gained Hufflepuff ten points. Anna-Marie in Slytherin managed to intoxicate the classroom twice last week in a freak accident involving her dyslexia and the potions ingredients in her case. We spent Friday's lesson colour coding our phials and she made the perfect draught of living death yesterday. Alexander Finnegan has managed to set fire to the class in every lesson he's been in so far under my supervision, I've met his cousin and I know he's a hapless case, you can't win them all.

My time in the castle seams to be moving so fast, it is already the middle of December and the Christmas buzz is descending over the pupils and the staff alike. This after noon Hermione and I are heading in to Hogsmead, along with half the school. I've never had a chance to look around Hogsmead by day; Hagrid took me to The three broomsticks on my first weekend at the school, to celebrate. By the end of the night Hagrid was swearing to me that I was the perfect match for Charlie Weasley and that he had never seen such a natural with the creatures in the school grounds since the second oldest of the Weasley's.

Hermione had refused to come down to the village with us, she had sat alone up in the castle, but today, today she was coming with me to meet up with Neville, Fred and George. All of whom had decided to owl me bright and early to tell me of their arrival.

But first off, I have to help Hagrid get a closer look at the cut on Buckbeak's side.

"I'd love to know how he's managed that." I say pulling my jumper tightly around me. I have about seventeen layers on and it still doesn't keep out the cold northern breeze.

"Recon he had a run in with a Thestral. Not one of mine though." said Hagrid nodding his big bushy head at the forest. The skeletal horses hovered at the edge of the thick trees, drawn by the wounded beast. Hagrid looks at them and back at Buckbeak.

"Come on Beaky let me have a look at it." said Hagrid slowly. The giant beast shook its head violently.

"Hagrid let me have a go." I let myself in to the paddock against Hagrid's protests.

The eagle like head of Buckbeak turns to me; he truly is a beautiful creature, proud and mighty. I sink down in a bow, a bow a creature like this deserves. I look up and Buckbeak has sunk down on to his scaly knees, he looks me in the eye and wanders over to me gently nuzzling in to my neck.

"Hello sir." I say stroking the feathers on the great beasts neck, the wound doesn't look to bad nothing I cannot fix with a simple spell.

"I have to say Buckbeak I never expected a welcome like that, do you think I'm someone you know?" I ask the beast quietly, he observes me before blinking his eyes. "Can I fix it?" I ask pointing at the cut. The beast lowers his head again, I perform the incantation, the wound knits, and Buckbeak spreads his wings as if testing to see how good a job I have done. He nudges me in thanks and I pat his long beak.

"You're welcome" I say before joining Hagrid at the other side of the pen.

"Never seen I'm take to someone so fast." said Hagrid looking at me in a sort of awe.

"I know it shocked me slightly, I guess he just likes Me." the large beast was watching the two us from the paddock.

"He's never been the same since I got him back off Sirius." said Hagrid as we walked up to the castle gates.

"Sirius?" I asked looking at Hagrid's crater size footprints next to my tiny size three's.

"Long story, I'm sure 'Ermione will tell you it if you ask her." he said as they met up with Hermione at the gates. The witch was wrapped tightly in dark red robes, her hair for once hanging around her face, held in place with a long school scarf, the Gryffindor lion visible against her chest.

"Hermione will tell her what?" Hermione asked looking at Hagrid.

"About Sirius, I was just saying Buckbeak never was the same after I got him back off I'm." said Hagrid pushing the gates open, the three of us turned out in to the lane.

"You can't blame Sirius, Buckbeak was stuck in the Black house for almost a year, that's enough to drive anyone insane." said Hermione shaking her head.

"Sirius as in escaped from Azkaban Black?" I ask looking at Hermione. She nods at me under her pulled up hood. "Did you know him? He's dead now right?" a look of sadness crossed Hermione's face.

"Yeah I knew him, he was Harry's godfather."

I can tell by the way that Hermione said it that it is a sore point, much like talking about Ron for spaces longer than two seconds is.

"I never understood why they came to my house when he escaped; they asked my mum loads of questions."

"That'll be 'cause yer mum was in the same class as him at school, surprised yer mum never told yah that." said Hagrid. My mum never told me much by the sounds of it.

"I knew she was in the same class as James Potter and Lily, I remember my mum telling me that, and she was chaser alongside James on the house team."

"Yer mam was a darn fine player…"

Talk drifts off in to quidditch and Hermione listens to us chat, quietly taking in the little bit that I know about the school teams from my mother.

As we enter Hogsmead we spot a large group of youngsters gathered around Zonko's (Now a division of Weasley's wizard wheezes.) The magically magnified voice of one of the twins enticing the youngsters to come and look at their new range in tremor toffees (they really make the earth move), musical mints (even you can sing like a superstar!), and not to mention the new and improved extendable ears (now translates in to different languages).

"Beth, Hermione!" booms the voice, it is George. I see the ginger hair emerge from the crowed of small children. He takes the charm off himself and pulls both of us in to a hug.

"How's my favourite girls?"

"We would probably be better if you let us breath." says Hermione sharply.

George let's go of Hermione but keeps his arm wrapped tightly around my neck. He looks at me his blue eyes surveying my face.

"Don't even think it George." I say warningly, he feigns a look of innocence but I wriggle free from his grasp.

"Oh but you really do make such a cute couple." I hear a voice behind me; I turn around and pitch myself in to Neville's hug. "I take it you missed me?"

"Who couldn't miss you?" I say squishing his cheeks in the way I know infuriates him.

"A lot of people." he shrugs; he nods over at Hermione, who George is looking at as if she isn't real.

"I just think you could come and see mum this Christmas." George says to her in a low voice.

"She doesn't want me there."

"That's a lie Hermione and you know that." says George shaking his head.

"If I say yes will you stop sending me owls?" George nods like an obsequious puppy. Hermione nods and smiles at the red head.

"Good, I know Grace will be ecstatic to see you." says George.

"Come on let's go find Fred. I need a drink I don't know about you lot but I'm freezing." he linked my arm and pulled me towards the three broomsticks.

The fire danced in the grate as the four of us, Hagrid having gone for a 'business meeting' in the hog's head, entered the bar. A sparkling Christmas tree stood in the corner by the large grandfather clock; it's red and gold baubles reflecting the streamers that hung from the ceiling like paper explosions.

George saw me looking and sighed.

"They were Ginny's favourites." he said quietly, the look of barrenness on his face. I know I remember hanging them with her all over the shop, silver and blue, red and green, it all seems so long ago.

"Come on guy's Ginny wouldn't want us to mope." said Neville as we edge our way through the crowed, finding Fred in the corner talking animatedly to two people with a small boy tugging on Fred's overgrown hair.

"You got a dwarf hanging from you." said George sliding on to the stool next to his brother. He takes the grubby infant and starts to bounce him on his knee; Fred spots me and grabs me around the waist pulling me down on to his knee.

"Elle, my love how are we coping playing at Professors?" he asks me as I wriggle in protest.

"I was doing fine until you decided to man handle me Fred!" I say glaring at him, he gives me a cheeky grin and I break a smile. I push the hair out of his face. "You need a hair cut." I scald him playfully.

"Have you been talking to my mother?" he asks me warningly.

"Fred you know I've only met your mam twice." I say rolling my eyes and looking around the table, Neville has sat down next to the woman, she has a pale heart shaped face and light brown hair, she's plainly the small boy's mother he has the same face shape and the same grin dancing as he talks.

Hermione is sitting quietly looking at the small boy who's trying to escape the clutches of George, not that anyone could blame him, George is relentlessly bouncing him up and down.

The final person at the table however is looking at me.

His greying hair falls in to his eye's as he watches my every move as if studying me.

I catch his eye and he extends his hand.

"You must be Elzbeth; my name is Remus, Remus Lupin. I went to school with your mother." I take his hand and nod.

"Now you, you my mother mentioned." I nod at Hermione.

"Your mother is selective with the facts." said Hermione quietly.

"I'm sure she had her reasons." I say looking at Remus.

"I'm not sure what to say to that." says Remus looking at me as if what I have to say intrigues him.

"You know my mam; you know what she's like. She only tells me things that she thinks I aught to know."

Remus looks at me then takes a long drink from the tankard in front of him.

"I haven't seen your mother in it must be almost twenty two years." he sighs, "How is she?"

"Annoying over protective and a matchmaker." says Neville from beside me. I shoot him an evil look.

"That's my mama you're talking about." I say punching him in the arm, his bottom lip quivers so I apologise. Remus however is laughing.

"She hasn't changed, I think she spent most of the last year we were at Hogwarts trying to set me up with anything that moved."

Neville looks at Remus. "Are you saying that I'm lowered to anything that moves?"

"Neville shut up and drink your rum." I order handing him the drink that Rosemerta has just placed on the table. The witch that's with him takes the small child of Fred, she hands him to Remus who raises and eyebrow.

"It's your turn, I did the last one." she says smiling nonchalantly at Remus. The man picks the small boy up and looks at him. "Why do you only do it in public?" he asks the small child, he turns to the woman. "I told you calling him James was a bad idea; he takes after his name sake."

"And I told you I was not going to let you call him Sirius and we've had this fight a thousand times, my nuisance of a cousin would be a thousand times worse."

"If it wasn't for that nuisance of a cousin we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Remus Lupin go change your son's nappy now." ordered the woman.

Remus gets slowly to his feet cradling the child. He gives the woman a contemptuous look. She sticks her tongue out and pats him on his way.

When he has left, Hermione turns to the woman.

"He seems to be in a better mood today."

"That's just his first drink, I've been toping it up with non alcoholic stuff, I don't think he's noticed though, he only drinks for something to do."

"Still no luck at the ministry?" Hermione asked.

"If they won't let me marry him what chance has he got of getting a job."

Hermione sighed she looked at me.

"Remus is a werewolf." she says trying to explain.

"It's ok I know, well my mum was friends with him right?" apparently Sirius is the only person my mother neglected to mention. "I thought the ministry was reassessing the laws around werewolves." I ask the woman.

"They were, but it's not a high priority." the woman sighs, "Greyback has a lot to answer for." she cradles her tomato juice thoughtfully.

"I still think that legislation is stupid." I say as Fred turn's his attention to the conversation.

"What legislation."

"The anti-werewolf one, "I say to him looking back over my shoulder. " I mean it's not as if the wolfs bane potion is that difficult to make." all the eyes around the table look at me. "What it isn't seriously I can make it with my eyes closed."

Hermione looks at me then at the woman.

"You know I think I like you." she smiles at me and extends her hand. "Tonks, it's nice to meet you."

I shake the woman's hand graciously, I need every friend I can get this is all a learning experience to me.

"If you want I can make the potion for you, it's no problem."

She smiles at me. "Would you? That would be fantastic, we've never been able to get anyone that could make it right since, well since the war, it would make like so much easier."

"Anything to help a friend of Hermione's." I say smiling.

"In that case how about that date?" asks Fred attentively from behind me.

"Fred it just wouldn't work we discussed this you could never go out with anyone who plays quidditch better than you." it takes him a while to work out hat I said but he dig's me playfully in the side when he finally does.

"Now children no violence." says Remus handing James to Hermione, the small child pulls himself up on to his feet poking at Hermione's nose with his tiny fingers.

"How's my favourite godson today?" asks Hermione brushing the child's abnormally long hair out of his eyes. James sticks his tongue out at her. "Oh I wonder who he gets that off?" Hermione says to Tonks, Tonks is about to answer her when she falls silent, staring at the door behind us.

I feel the breeze from the door around my ankles, as I turn to look I see the colour drain from Hermione's face, it's as if I know who's standing at the door before I see them.

"The wanderers return." mutters Fred in my ear as I watch the two cloaked figures walk to the table where were sitting.

"Two fire whisky's Rosemerta." says Remus to the proprietor who was looking at the bedraggled state of the two men who had just entered her pristine bar.

Tonks summoned two chairs and moved the Christmas tree to shield them all from the penetrated stares of the contents of the pub. The taller of the two figures nods in appreciation of the gesture. I look to Hermione who is staring pointedly at James it's as if she thinks that by not looking at them she can pretend the two of them haven't just walked back in to her life. She catches my eye for a split second then looks back at James fidgeting with the small boy's hair as he watches the new arrivals with intrigue.

I look around again at Harry and Ron; they look nothing like the two people I saw back in the summer. Time hasn't taken to them, it looks as if they have been roughing it for the last few months, Harry's hair is matted to his head when he lowers his hood, his fringe is plastered down across his face, shielding any tell tale sign of scar that he is so famous for. His robes look faded and worn, wherever they have been they have been mixing with wizards, the clothes give it away. Harry looks around the table, his eyes flicking from face to face finally resting on me.

I shouldn't be here I don't belong, I'm an outsider and I should leave. I go to get up but Fred pulls me back down on his knee with force.

"No you stay, you're as much a part of our family as anyone around this table now." says Fred in a low voice so only I can hear, beside me George nods.

I try to protest but the grip on my waist tightens.

An eerie silence falls over the procession, Neville stirs in his chair nervously. It feels as if time has halted. The only movement is from James who is now rhythmically banging his hand on the table.

Ron breaks the tableaux, lowering his hood and dropping his bag to the floor. His now long hair falls in to his eyes as he looks in his pocket for something, I see his fingers are bandaged as he walks around me and his brothers and slams a piece of parchment down in front of Hermione.

"Don't you ever say I don't care about you!" His voice is calm and steady, he glares at the side of her head, and Hermione ignores him. "You think I don't miss you?"

I feel Fred's arm moving around my waist as he pulls me up and we move in to one of the chairs that Tonk's summoned. Ron sinks in to the chair beside Hermione.

"Ron don't you think this would be an argument best saved for private?" asks Harry taking the drink from Rosemerta and sliding it across the table to his friend.

"I don't actually no." said Ron not taking his eyes of Hermione, which was foolish on his half because James was eyeing him mischievously. Poised to strike at any moment. He did grabbing Ron's fire whisky and tipping it on him.

"James no!" said Remus grabbing the little boy and lifting him up. Ron looked at the little boy in Remus's arms and then back at Hermione.

"You knew I couldn't answer your letters, why Hermione, why torture me by sending them?"

I try to tune out of the conversation that's going on beside me but it's difficult. After all everyone else seems to be so used to the two of them arguing that it look as if they treat it as a spectator sport.

I look around the table. Everyone is waiting for Hermione to react, but I don't think she can. I think she might just have passed that point where all she wants to do is shout back at him. Harry sinks down in the seat beside George and takes a drink of fire whisky. He looks at Remus and at James in his arms.

"James this is you're uncle Harry." says Remus passing the small child over to Harry. James looks at Harry as if he is the scariest thing he's ever seen promptly bursting in to tears.

Harry looks at Remus.

"Don't worry I believe you did the exact same thing when you first met Sirius as a child." says Remus kindly taking the crying child back.

I don't blame James for crying Harry looks scary. Not to mention the two of them stink to high heavens.

The group falls silent again only James's sobs can be heard.

The silence is broken eventually by Hermione's voice calm and collected, something that I was surprised about. She looked up and at Ron.

"Are you staying this time?" she asked him.

He looked across at Harry. Harry nodded her head.

Hermione looked at me and then at Ron.

"Good." she said simply.

* * *

_**A/N Thanks for the reviews, as ever it's appreciated.**_

_**I don't know if I'm going to get around to updating any of my stories till after Christmas now so if I don't seriously guys have a good Christmas, and if your not of the Christian persuasion ( any warped version of it) I wish you the best of the season, and any festival that falls around this time of year I hope you enjoy.**_

Love as ever Paula-Lou


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N this was a very difficult chapter to write, my grandmother passed away on Tuesday, two days after her birthday. I'm full of very mixed emotions, sad that she has passed over, happy because she has finally got her wish of the last five years to be with my grandfather. So this chapter is dedicated to her, the woman who taught me to enjoy art, love books and never be afraid to say what you really mean.**_

_**It's also dedicated to all the people that we miss at this time of year. Love as ever Paula-Lou.**_

* * *

**look what we've become**

It was long in to the evening before the first people left our table, James was growing tiered, restless and so was his father, being like me and wishing that Harry and Ron would give us some sort of information on what they had been doing for the last six months.

Elzbeth talked quietly with Fred and George. Looking over occasionally to check if I was alright, Ron and myself having sat in awkward silence for well over an hour now. I have nothing to say to him. After all the words I thought that I had stored for only him I can't bring myself to say them.

I feel even more lost now that their back.

Ron occasionally looked over at her as she laughed at something that one of the twins would say.

Harry was sitting watching her.

Eventually he speaks.

"Who are you?"

Ever since the war Harry has been more wary of strangers, and before that he learned that speaking his mind was the fastest way to find where people's loyalties lie.

Elzbeth looked up from the card trick that Fred was showing her.

"My name is Elzbeth Miller." she said plainly looking at Harry as if he was mealy enquiring the time not demanding her to introductions.

"Harry mate what has gotten in to you?" says Fred looking at Harry as if he's gone mad.

"What's wrong with me?" Harry asks shocked.

"Yeah Harry what is wrong with you?" asks George indignantly. " You've been giving Beth evil looks ever since you sat down."

"If you don't see what the problem is then you're more blinkered than I thought you were."

I watch as Harry gets to his feet and storms towards the doors that lead to the rented rooms that Ron and Harry took out.

"He thinks I'm a replacement for Ginny." says Elzbeth quietly.

Beside me Ron grunts.

"You think the same?" I ask him as he fidgets with his jacket.

" Well look at it from our point of view, we come back and she's taken over as the baby of the group, Fred and George are acting as if she's there little sister and you said yourself it's nice to have some female company." I say nothing.

"Can I say something?" the voice of Neville pipes up. He looks at us all staring almost open mouthed at Ron's little outburst. "No offence Ron , but if you hadn't turned in to total recluses for the last four years you would know Elzbeth. It's not our fault you never left your mothers house."

"Neville has a point." says Fred quietly. "We mentioned Elle enough, she's been living above the shop for the last four years. Ginny was friends with Elle, they went to lessons together. It's not our fault or hers that non of you paid any attention."

Ron looked insulted. He made to get up.

"Running away from things again?" I whisper as he gets to his feet.

"Can I have a word with you?" he says grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me from the room.

In the small corridor he releases his grip on me.

"What is wrong with you." he says harshly his once bright blue eyes faded and dull. The eyes that looked at me now were not the eyes of the man that told me he loved me as he held me in his arms waiting for help in the final days of battle.

"What is wrong with me? Ron where do I start? You don't seem to understand what I have had to put up with for the last six months, the last five years, you aren't Ron anymore, your not my Ron anymore." I say looking away from him.

"I grew up Hermione, isn't that what you're supposed to do?" he sneered. I felt a cold shudder run up my spine. My Ron never used to speak to me like this, even after the war. Not that I saw much of him in the time I spent with what remained of his family, Harry and Ron spent far to much time locked up in their rooms.

I don't know what to say to him, I can feel the tears burning in my eyes. My head is pounding as I try and figure out how I can get back the man I've loved for so long it's almost impossible to remember when I didn't.

"I hate to break the little love in up." says Neville in the door way. " But me and the twins are heading back home."

Ron looks around breaking his stare from mine. He walks forward and pulls Neville in to a Man hug, you know the kind one armed manly pats on the back.

"You're brothers want a word with you." Neville says as they break apart. Ron nods leaving and going in to the bar.

Neville looks at me.

"Are you ok?" I shake my head and the tears start to fall silently. Neville walks over taking me in his arms.

"He's been through so much Hermione, you have to give him time."

"And I haven't?" Neville squeezes me tighter.

"You were never afraid to ask for help, Ron is stubborn, you know that better than any of us."

I nod in to the now wet patch on Neville's shoulder.

"Now are you coming to the Christmas party the twins are throwing." Neville asks as I calm down.

"Party?" I can't remember when I last went to a party.

"Fred and George are going all out this year, getting funds for the children's ward at St Mungos." he smiles linking his arm with mine. "And this year I won't take no for an answer, Elzbeth's coming along as well so there is no excuse."

I look at Elzbeth who's avoiding Georges amours advances . I nod at Neville.

"Ok. I'll be their, after all Harry and Ron are home we should celebrate.

The castle is so eerie when there is no one in it but the teachers. I listen as two sets of footsteps echo along the floor. Elzbeth knocks at my door, she's not alone, Harry is with her.

"Filch wouldn't let him come up by himself." she says nodding in Harry's direction.

"I did wonder." I say as I show Harry in, it's not as if he doesn't know where the classroom is.

"Mam's expecting us at about five so we should floo over to the Leaky Cauldron about four, just to be safe." says Elzbeth excusing herself. Harry watches her go.

"You never said she was a teacher here." he says sitting himself down in the chair that sits in front of the large wooden desk.

"You never asked, and I suppose Ron never told you."

"He doesn't say much."

" I figured that." I say locking the open trunk that rests on my desk.

"The two of you seem close." says Harry helping himself to a candy cane that I have lying on my desk. I take it back from him and throw it in the fire.

"That thing was cursed, Dark Arts Professor Harry." I say pointing to myself as I look at him over the top of the trunk.

"I know, I just guess that I don't think you would leave dangerous things lying around."

He smiles at me gently, he looks a lot healthier now that he has had a wash and a shave, it's been almost a week since the incident in the pub, but still I feel alone, Ron may just be down in the village but that doesn't mean he's been to visit. Maybe we just grew apart.

"Are you going to the twins party tomorrow night?" I hear myself asking Harry as tap on the large brick next to the fire.

Harry looks down at his feet.

"I don't know, I don't know much any more."

" I think you should, it will be good for you. It's no good locking yourself away from the world, Ginny wouldn't want you to ignore your friends and forget to live…ah dobby!" I turn to see the aging house elf.

"Professor Granger, Mr Harry Potter sir! Dobby is happy to see you sir!"

"Merry Christmas Dobby." says Harry looking at the maroon jumper that is so patched you couldn't rightly call it maroon any more, or even a jumper more of a quilt.

"Dobby can you do me a favour and take my trunk to the Burrow for me, Molly will be expecting you."

The house elf nods his long nose almost touching the floor, Dobby is generally not like this around me, he knows my actions in spew gave him the choices he now has, but evidently the presence of Harry is having it's usual effect. The elf takes hold of the trunk and disappears with a pop.

"You're going to the burrow?"

"For Christmas yes. Molly need's me."

"What about me and Ron?"

"It's Ron's home I'm sure he's more than welcome as are you."

"That's not what I meant."

I look at him.

" I know Harry."

The two of us stare at each other for a long time. I know he needs me, I know Ron needs me, but I need somebody, I can't keep being the strong one.

"I'm stopping at The Millers tonight and tomorrow night, before I go over, I have to pick up Grace's gift from the store."

"How is she."

"I wish I knew, but as Fleur says how can she miss a father she never knew?"

The two of us fall quite.

"Harry, you and Ron should come out tomorrow night, at least show your faces. I know it's difficult and you don't want people talking to you about Ginny," I try to ignore the wince at the sound of her name. "But you have to move on."

Harry gets to his feet quietly. Walking over he stands arms reach away from me.

"I think it's time you took your own advice, you need to remember how to live Hermione." he says quietly.

"I wish it was that easy." I say turning away from my friend.

From the window of Elzbeth's room I watch as the winters sky turns a soft pink colour. The fairy lights twinkle around the doors of the shops on Diagon ally. Carol singers can be heard there voices floating on the wind, there razing money for the dragon reserve in Romania, Charlie Weasley can be heard over the top of all the others. I try not to smile to much at the thought of Charlie singing with a Santa hat perched on his head at a jaunty angle. Behind me I hear the door go and hear Elzbeth sit down in the large green chair by the window beside me. She has her towel wrapped tightly around her, her hair dripping wet around her face.

"Someone turned the hot water on in the shop, and I bet I know who." she said muttering curses under her breath and pointing her wand towards the floor, there is the unmistakable sound of a Weasley yelp. Elzbeth grins and dances slightly in her seat.

"What did you do?"

"Reveal spell." she says quietly.

"To reveal what?"

"Whatever Fred and George have on under there work robes." she says innocently.

"Elzbeth!"

"Well they shouldn't give me cold shower treatment." she says getting up and walking over to her wardrobe. She pulls out a tight pair of black trousers and a faded pair of purple boot's.

"How on earth are you going to fit in to them?"

"Where there's a will there's a way."

I pick my outfit up and head in to the bathroom changing in to a black skirt and a silver tank top and cardigan. Two seconds later Elzbeth lets herself in to the bathroom, her red and gold halter neck top clashing horrendously with her hair.

"I clash, swap tops!" she asked. I nod and watch as she pulls her top of handing it to me. I carefully take my top of and hand it to her .

"There is no way I am wearing this." I say looking down at the top that shows way to much cleavage for my liking.

Elzbeth sighs and takes something from a shelf, she walks over and lifts the folded fabric that drapes down the front of the top, she pins it up with a small broach in the shape of a snitch.

"There you go little miss conservative." she says smiling and pulling my hair down from the bun it was in previously.

"And that is for?"

"You are going to a party, not a funeral, live a little whilst you can." she says pulling the silver top on and discarding the cardigan.

"Ready?" she asks as I fidget with the broach.

"No but I don't think you're going to take that as an answer are you?" I say as she grabs my hand and drags me from the flat and in to the shop where Fred and George are standing waiting for us. Fred looks at me as if I've suddenly become someone he doesn't know.

"Bloody hall Hermione!" says George walking forward and circling me.

"It's awful isn't it?" I ask him following him with my eyes as he rounds me.

"No you look…"

"Bloody good." says Fred as George links my arm.

Elzbeth looks at Fred and taps her foot.

"Sorry Elle, you look amazing as well but you always do." he says linking her arm.

"Flattery gets you everywhere." she says looking at him . "Who did I hit with my reveal spell?" she asks the twins.

"George, although I think you aimed for me, I know you want to see me naked" says Fred leading her towards the door.

"No one wants to see that." whispers George in to my ear as we collect our cloaks. I smile and accept mine from him.

"You going to be ok tonight? I mean if Ron is getting to you just tell me and I'll hit him." says George as he locks the shop behind us. Up ahead Fred and Elzbeth are throwing things at each other.

"Thanks George it's nice to know that at least you care." as I head down Diagon ally after my newest friend and my 'older brother' I know that no matter what Ron does I always have my family to fall back on.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N thanks for waiting! I should be back to normal for updating now. And thank you to everyone who left me a review they brightened up my day in a dark time. This chapter is dedicated to you all._

_Disclaimer: if I owned H/P I would be able to pay the gas bill. And don't and can't so you make the decision._

* * *

_**Reflections**_

Elzbeth's POV

Its bloody freezing, I mean I knew it got cold up north, but this is London, isn't the pollution supposed to keep the city warm? Global warming or something like that? I could ask Fred but then again maybe I shouldn't, I don't want to make him think, especially not about Muggle stuff.

Behind me, I hear Hermione laugh at something that George has said. I look over my shoulder the two of them leaning towards each other in the bitter cold of the night.

"You're not paying any attention to me are you Elle?"

I turn and look at Fred; he's examining the line of my cloak. I see his eyes following the green beading around my neck, I see him looking at the weird sisters pin that holds my cloak together. It lies in the middle of a thousand other bands that he has probably never heard.

"I said what does that mean?" he points at the anarchy badge sitting next to my Johnny Rotten pin.

"It's a sign for anarchy, you know to lack any sort of government and rules."

"I know what anarchy is." he smiles menacingly.

"That doesn't surprise me."

"I just never realised that there was a sign for it." he says digging me in the side.

"Well there is since the punk revolution at least."

"Punk?" I groan this could take some time. How long until we get to the party exactly? I scan Diagon ally for any sign of the afore mentioned party as I fill my ginger friend in on all I know about the summer of punk, the reason there is no such thing as a revolution and why the wizarding world is full of exactly the same problems as that of it's muggle counter parts.

I have to give him credit he seams to understand what I'm talking about.

"So it's kind of like the order?"

"Something like the order I guess. Fighting for what you know is right against a corrupted government."

"Is this a private conversation or can anyone join in?" the deep tones make me jump slightly. I turn from the, looking at how close I was to Fred, Intimate conversation I was having, beside me is quite evidently a Weasley but this is someone new.

"Charlie!" says Fred practically throwing me out of the way to embrace the stranger that goes by the name Charlie. "We didn't think you would make it, we figured that you would be travelling back to Romania."

"Well I figured I might stick it out, I mean I haven't seen mum in ages, and well I feel a bit guilty leaving her with Fleur, I mean if I could I would work at home but there just isn't a place on the reserve for me here." he smiles at me. "And who is this fine looking lady, she can't possibly be your girlfriend; you would have shown her off to me by now."

I shake his extended hand; it's rough to the touch. The reserve he works on must be dragons. My brain goes in to hyper drive. Hagrid has talked about this guy. This is Charlie Weasley, the only person to ever tame a Hungarian horntail, the one that Hagrid gave Baby Norbert too.

"Elzbeth and Fred's failure at me being his girlfriend is not from lack of trying, and I know who you are, Charlie Weasley, dragon keeper, and seeker extraordinaire. How is Norbert anyway?"

Charlie looks at me confused for almost a second, his resemblance to his brothers now obvious as we walk past an over lit window. He is very handsome, Hermione had said he was, and for once, I think I agree with her. His face is scared, I can make out the dragon burns, but there are others, marks of war that will never fade. Every male I meet around my own age bares them, reflected curses, falls and wounds that may never heal.

"Norbert is fine, at least he was yesterday when I checked, he rules the reserve, and I don't know how Hagrid thought he could keep him in Hogwarts."

"If there's a will there is a way." I say smiling back at the older Weasley.

"Just like you and them pants right?" asks Hermione pushing past us and hugging Charlie.

"No. Me and these pants are just a challenge." I say as we all fall in to step.

"Your telling me." says Fred lifting my cloak to get a better look. I glare at him.

"I'm only playing." he says wrapping an arm around my shoulders and turning me in to an alleyway, the others follow us.

"The party's here." he says pointing at a large black door, he taps the metal once and the door swings open. On the other side, blue and purple lights lines a cold stonewall. It runs downwards. Is this some sort of joke? I mean we are talking about Fred and George here. However, the others follow us in to the dim corridor, the door closes behind us and the lights flicker slightly. Fred drops his arm from behind my shoulder and finds my hand. He leads me down the gently sloping corridor.

"Are we going underground?"

"Yeah? Why? You're not claustrophobic are you?"

I shake my head, I'm getting used to being in dark dank places, living in the dungeon does that to you, but it is becoming more and more like home, it's as if I was born to work there.

The chatter between the three of them behind us echo's of the walls until the path begins to smooth out and open in to a large cavern, a cavern covered in ornate ice sculptures and live bats charmed to carry small paper lanterns as they fly, they hover across the room.

Already there are people mingling as the band sets up. I recognise the Bass player from the weird sisters hovering next to the pumpkin pasties. George had said he had invited them. I hope they play I have never seen them live; Hermione said they played at the Christmas ball at Hogwarts. Again, I was reminded of all the things I missed out on by not attending that school. I wish I knew my mothers motives.

Fred deserts me to organise the band that are currently on the stage.

George follows close behind, leaving me and Hermione to stand with Charlie. I can't help noticing that Hermione is trying her best to avoid his eyes I can see why, even if Hermione has never said anything, the resemblance Charlie has to his younger brother is remarkable. Ron I think may be a little taller a little bit bulkier but the face the hair, they all scream Ron.

Charlie takes our cloaks and takes them to the cloakroom. Hermione hovers nervously beside me, just when was the last time she went out?

"Don't look so nervous." I say linking her arm in mine.

"I can't help it; I'm not used to being in places like this."

"Like what?"

"There are so many people, I 'm not used to it."

I look around the room, it is true that many people are staring; I guess Hermione is sort of a modern day hero to many of these people. I remember the looks; I've seen them before there the sort of look that Dumbledore would command upon entering a room. He visited my mother regularly during my childhood, something that the few wizards that lived near us in Ireland would comment on as strange.

I never saw it as strange, if it happens all the time why would you.

When we moved to the north east of England the visits became fewer, but by then the war was growing again, weird phenomenon was building up all over the world, people were going missing and my mother started receiving owls from people that I had never heard of. I never saw Dumbledore much after that. He visited once or twice, he came personally after the Dementors called, asked how I was what sort of things the Auror's that were with them had asked.

"Are you alright?" Hermione's voice breaks through the memories that I thought that I had forgotten.

"Yeah just thinking, don't get used to it, it doesn't happen often."

Hermione giggles and it seams to relive some of the pressure of the situation.

Somewhere on the other side of the crowed the band start up and the masses start to dance, Hermione points out the notable witches and wizards that I should know but obviously don't.

"How do you know all this stuff?" I say looking at her amazed as she waves to a tall bald wizard with a glint of gold in his left ear.

"Most were in the order, many I just know by sight." she nods at a blond witch wearing a set of acid green robes. "And some such as Rita here make themselves known for totally other reasons." Hermione nodded as the witch in question glided over to them. She showered me with the most saccharine smile I have ever seen before turning to Hermione.

"Miss bossy boots, still saving the world?" she asked sweetly.

"Still pedalling lies and corruption?" Hermione asked back just as falsely.

"Of course."

"I'm glad to hear it." Hermione said shaking the woman hand.

Rita smiled a genuine smile and helped herself to a drink from a passing tray.

"How are you anyway Hermione, it's been to long." she taped the side of the tumbler with long talons.

"Off the record?" Hermione surveyed the aging blond.

"Off the record, I know better than to mess with you." Rita said "Good friend, bad enemy." she said looking at me.

"Well of the record, I have been better. I suppose you know whose back?"

"I had heard." said Rita conjuring a cocktail stick from thin air and fishing out the olive that was floating in her drink. I eyed it, willing her to eat it, I remembered Fred telling me about a prototype they had been working on that went in a drink, Rita here seamed like the perfect Ginny pig.

Unfortunately, she flicked it in to a near buy wastepaper bin.

"Where did they go?" Rita asked curiously.

"I thought you might be able to tell me." sighed Hermione.

Rita's eyes glinted with something like triumph.

"Is there discord in the mighty trio?" she asked eagerly.

"No and if I read anything of the sort in the prophet, you'll be joining the permanent residence in St Mungos." I sneer at her.

"And who are you?"

"Elzbeth Miller, Potions Lecturer at Hogwarts." I say trying to stop my hands curling in to balls.

"Well I hope they got someone who knows where their loyalties lie." she sneered back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask biting back the retort that had formed on my lips.

She looked at Hermione and then at me.

"They say that the dark arts job is cursed, but I say so is the Potions, All Slytherin's every last one, and as for Snape." both Rita and Hermione gave an involuntary shudder.

"Snape?"

"Severus Snape, the vile loathsome scum that killed Dumbledore." said Rita shaking her head. "They say nobody good comes out of Slytherin house. Maybe there right." she sighed and placed her now empty tumbler down on table behind us. "Personally I think the world could do with a bit of a shake up, it's been to long since we had a bit of scandal, life got boring." she flicked her hair over her shoulder and stalked off in to the crowed.

"Is she always like that?" I ask Hermione who smiles in to the glass she's holding.

"Always, and I think you just made an enemy, welcome to my world."

"I don't like her very much." I say watching as she mingles with the powerful, a quill and notebook in hand.

"She's harmless and she has her uses." Hermione sighed as the twins advance on us dragging us towards the dance floor.

As I stand by Hermione listing to the twins make a speech, I notice her eyes aren't focused on the twins at all, but on Charlie Weasley who's leaning on table by the door, he looks almost as board as Hermione, who so uncharacteristically is ignoring everything that the twins are saying.

I see Charlie look up and out in to the pale lit corridor, his eyes focusing on someone in the darkness.

I can tell by the look on his face who it is. I nudge Hermione whose eyes snap forward to mine.

She grabs my hand and we nudge our way out of the crowed, but unlike I thought we were, we don't make our way to the door but to the bathroom.

"Why are we in here?"

I look at Hermione who has sunk down on the marble surrounding the sinks.

"I can't face him." she says weakly. Her curls falling in to her face.

"Who? Ron?"

She nods, and I sigh. I'm no good at relationships, I can't deal with tears, but Hermione is my friend and I have to deal with this.

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

Hermione shakes her head.

"Then what?"

"That's just it I don't know. I love him I really do, but that's not Ron, that's not the man I love out there."

I brush the hair away from her face and look at her.

"How do you know?"

"I just do." she sighs. "The things that make me love him, the things that make him, him are gone. He used to be so full of life, I would constantly laugh, he used to be able to make things alright again, you wouldn't understand you weren't there you never seen him when he was whole and good." she pauses, obviously shocked at the words that have come out of her own mouth. "I mean… I don't know what I mean, but that war it changed us, you can't understand, you weren't there."

"I know you keep saying." I say unsure what to say next. This does seam like something that the two of them need to talk about in private.

As if on queue, there is a knock on the door.

Despite Hermione's protests, I get up and walk over to the door.

"Can I talk to Hermione?"

"I think it would be for the best." I say letting the now neatly shaven red head enter the bathroom, I look across at Hermione who's staring at the floor as if willing it to open up and eat her whole.

I silently slip out of the bathroom and bump in to someone in the corridor.

I turn to face Harry who has obviously followed, or pushed Ron in this direction. He looks at me the look of distain still etched on his face.

"Harry, listen I think we met under a bad sign or something. Can we try again, for Hermione's sake?"

His eyes lighten under his glasses, for the first time I actually look at him properly, his eyes are the most shocking shade of green that I have ever seen, I struggle to take my eyes away from them but I do snapping my eyes to the floor.

"If Hermione likes you then you must be ok, she has few female friends, she's somewhat picky." he says sitting himself down in a large red chair in the powder room that divides the male and female toilets.

"I would never have guessed."

We sit in silence listening for any sign of a fight in the bathroom.

"I don't think we have to worry about them hexing each other." I say eventually looking at Harry who's staring at me with that same look of recognition that Remus had.

"Really why?" he asks breaking from his revere.

"I took Hermione's wand when she wasn't looking." I say fishing her wand from down my boot.

Harry laughs lightly and nods.

He pulls out a wand from his inside pocket.

"Ron's wand, I guess great minds think alike?"


	6. Chapter 6

sorry for the lack of updates, i recently lost my second grandmother in the space of a month , i almost had a nervouse break down, no actually scrap that i did have a nervouse break down ( i'm more than sure it will come in to use at some point in a story) i've split up with my partner of 7 years and im living bac at home with my mum amd dad, henceforth the lack of updates, im on dial up and it sucks.

so basicly my life has been a little poo of late.

but hey i'm getting used to it.

love as ever paula-lou.

* * *

Ron avoided my gaze as he walked over to me leaning on the sinks in the way that I remember, encapsulating everything about that sixteen year old that I had never been able to forget, his hair falling in to his eyes unceremoniously. He dug his toe in to the crack on the marble floor, sighing as he avoided looking at me.

I pull my legs in to myself, curling up I'm on the defensive, and Ron knows that. His eyes flick to me as I sigh heavily.

"You hate me don't you." he says quietly. I feel the air catch in my chest. How can he think I hate him. I couldn't hate him, I spent the last year worried sick about him.

I watch as he fidgets with his shirt, his arms still bare the marks of the memories that will never fade. I was so worried about him, out there on his own. He needs me to look out for him, doesn't he understand that at all?

"I don't hate you Ron, I'm just hurt that you felt that you couldn't tell me what you were doing." Ron pushed himself away from the sink rounding on me.

"We've been tracing the death eater that killed my sister."

"That , that I know." I say looking away from him I can see that look in his eyes the vicious murderous look that he reserves just for me, ok maybe he doesn't reserve it for me maybe it just feels like he does.

"You wouldn't understand." the words die in the air. For the first time I look at him.

"I wouldn't understand? Ron I think I understand a lot better than you give me credit for. Ginny was like my sister, I lost my parents, I understand the basic concept of revenge, I'm sorry if you feel that you have to go get yourself killed to save the day, I couldn't do it, I couldn't fight anymore."

His blue eyes seek out mine, he raises my head with his hand. His skin is rough to the touch, but he commands my attention.

"You did what you thought was right, I did what I thought was right, I don't think any less of you for staying behind, I never asked you to come with me."

I push his hand away. Glaring at him.

"That's exactly it, you never gave me a chance. You never gave me the option to say no."

Ron stepped back.

"You wouldn't have come." Ron said looking down at the floor.

I can feel the anger bellowing inside of me.

"You know I would have followed you to the end of the world, that's why you just left, it's Harry and Ginny all over again."

Ron grinds his teeth, the sound cuts through me like a knife.

"It was easier." he says eventually.

"Easier than what?"

"Hurting you." Ron said quietly shoving his hands in to his pockets. I watch him as he swing from foot to foot like a small child waiting for the hammer fall from an angry parent. I feel that tugging sensation in the pit of my stomach, the same one that I feel whenever I think too hard about the way we used to be, the way we used to make life awkward for each other, when fighting Voldemort was just some distant spot on the horizon, staring at it from this direction it seams so long ago.

I look at him, Ron hasn't changed as much as I thought he had, when I looked at him ; the day they came back from there travels, I felt like I didn't know him at all, under that grime and dirt was not the man that I had fallen in love with. But now , now he the way he looks at me makes me wish that I had followed them the night they left.

The awkward silence engulfs us. It's been to long, have we really forgotten how to have a conversation? It would appear so.

"So the twins tell me that your back at Hogwarts." he says eventually his eyes still down cast.

"You know I'm teaching at the school, you haven't lost the ability to read whilst you've been away have you?" I snap at him.

"I'm just making conversation." Ron apologises but I just shake my head.

"I took the defence against the dark arts job." I say looking at his reflection in the mirrors across the room from us. The candles flicker in the holders that run along the sink.

"You lifted Voldemort's curse?" he says looking up in to the mirror.

"I can but hope." I say quietly.

"I'm sorry for snapping at your friend, I know she's not a replacement for Ginny." he says quietly.

I sigh, I wounded how long it would take before the conversation came back around to Ginny.

"She is in a way, I needed someone to talk to, I missed my friends." I looked up and caught his eye line for a second. " All of them."

Ron gets to his feet and walks over to me, he squares up to me, resting a hand on either side of me, his hands resting on the cold marble. I can feel his eyes burning in to me, his very presence waking something that had lay dormant for so long that the very fact that it's still alive is scaring me slightly.

"There wasn't a day, a moment that didn't pass where you weren't on my mind, I never realised I could miss one person so much, I agonised over every letter that you sent. But it was something I had to do. I can't bring dad back, I can't bring back Bill, although I wish every day I could bring a father back to Grace, but I could do something to make it better, stop the hurt a little. Malfoy deserved it, she gloated Hermione, she told me she made Ginny suffer, it almost destroyed Harry. Then she told me she was coming after you. I couldn't have that Hermione, I was not going to let her take the last thing that I have."

I look down at his hands, calloused and broken his wrists bare burns deep in the skin from ropes that bound him to me, his gold watch rests on one such scar, the planets no longer moving, they stopped the day Mr Weasley did. I unfold my legs from my chest and hang them down in front of me.

"It was Draco's mother that killed Ginny?" the words crack in the air,

"But why? Ginny saved Draco's life!" I say looking in to Ron's eyes, the darkness was growing in them again. He shook his head as if trying to rid an image from his subconscious .

"She was distraught, Ginny killed the man she loved, it was revenge." he said quietly.

I can understand that, I can understand a motive like that.

Ron moves his hand to mine, holding it there for a second before moving it again.

"Why move it?" I say looking down at the hand that once again rests upon the cool marble.

He looks at me, I can't remember the last time he looked at me like this, it seams so long ago since that night at his brothers wedding, the look of lust that had crossed his face as we danced under the moonlight in the orchard.

"Because I don't deserve you."

"Ronald Weasley that has to be the stupidest thing that I have ever heard."

"It's true though Hermione what have I got to offer you, I have nothing, I'm nothing all I do is hurt you."

I reach out and pull him closer to me, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck, I stare at him. His eyes search mine for answers to the questions that my actions have raised.

"You are still as big an idiot as ever, no amount of heroics are going to make me love you more or less, you don't understand anything I've said to you since we were seventeen, you're an idiot, but I can't think when you haven't been my first last and every thought, and I know somewhere under that stupid tough guy image is the man I fell in love with."

"You have to stop calling me an idiot."

"What you going to do jinx me?" I taunt as I realise my grip on him.

He gropes in his back pocket for his wand.

"Ok very funny give me back my wand." he says turning on me.

"I haven't got your stupid wand." I say reaching in to my jeans for my own wand.

We both look at each other.

"Harry!" we say in unison.

I role my eyes, Ron actually cracks a smile, I think it's the first genuine smile that I've seen since long before the war.

"He can't have lifted your wand as well." says Ron looking at the door.

"No that will be Elzbeth." I say smiling. " She knows how irrational I get around you, she probably didn't want to have to come visit me in Azkaban."

"I don't blame her." he leans on the marble next to me resting his hand on my leg as he does so. " Well since jinxing you is out of the question, how about I just pay you a complement instead?" he asks flicking the hair out of his face.

"I think a complement would be nice." I say sliding down from the sink my heals making a soft clinking noise as they touch the cold stone floor.

"You look as fantastic as ever." he says quietly looking me up and down.

I spin on the spot, again he laughs, the sound warms me through.

"You know you don't look to bad yourself." I say smiling at him as I grab him by the hand and lead him to the door.

"Hermione can I ask you something?" he says following me but not releasing my hand, I stop and he walks in to me.

"What do you want to know?" I say turning to him.

"Are you coming home for Christmas?" he asks me quietly almost in a whisper.

I smile at him, nodding as I do so.

"I promised you're mother that I would."

Ron raises his eyebrows at me. I sigh. "Ok I promised Fred and George, you know what the two of them are like once they get an idea in to there heads. I was just going to spend Christmas at the castle. But they insisted that if I did your mother would never speak to me again , and despite what many people think about me I would be the last person to ever want to upset your mother."

Ron smiled , " Well I guess that this Christmas might not be as dismal as I thought it was going to be."

I look down at his hand and I notice him doing the same.

"Some things never change, we still fight, we still argue but no mater how much we do we still have the ability to change pace at a split second, you truly are the most insufferable person I have ever met." I say dropping his hand and pushing past him in to the waiting area.

Two sets of eyes look up at me when they hear the door creek, Harry smiles at me from the sofa. Elzbeth nods in my direction from the footstool next to Harry's feet.

"Wand please!" I demand marching over to Elzbeth. She twirls the wood around her hand interweaving it between her fingers.

" Have you and Ron sorted it?"

"There was nothing to sort out!"

Harry laughs at me from the sofa, his face lighting up for the first time in a long time. Elzbeth's eyes flick to his face, a smile plays across her lips before she looks back at me.

"For one night you can live without your wand." she says storing it in her back pocket.

"Oh I can, can I?"

Harry nods. " Actually both of you can, I don't want to spend the rest of tonight in St Mungos, I don't recon the donations they want was in the shape of two casualties."

"Have I ever raised my wand against Hermione yet?" asked Ron calmly from the doorway.

"No but she's got a mean temper and a short fuse, I don't think I trust her not to turn you in to a kappa." we both watch as Harry stores the wand away in his jacket.

I look at Ron who just shrugs.

Elzbeth pulls Harry to his feet, he looks at her over the top of his glasses.

"You do realise that your supposed to look through them things don't you?" she says pointing at the glasses.

"You do realise that your to mouthy for your own good don't you ?" he says pointing her to the hall where the music has started to play loudly.

"Well you know someone has to remind you your only human once in a while, oh saviour of the wizarding world." she bowed low.

I wait for Harry's tantrum to come, but he just looks at her. Then his face lightens more.

"You know, you really should have that looked at."

"What?"

"That ego of yours I mean how does your head fit out the door?"

I stand gob smacked as the two of them head in to the hall, trading insults as if they have known each other for years.

"Ok what did we just walk out on?" asks Ron joining me at my side.

I shake my head , I really have no idea.

"Did someone trade in Harry for a new model or something?" said Ron.

"I said I don't know."

" No you didn't." said Ron

"Yes I did."

" No you didn't, you shrugged. That is an action not a word, you never spoke, henceforth you did not say it."

My inner urge to punch him is over come by my need to have a drink , a very strong drink.

Or maybe a vacation, or some strong sedatives, a memory jinx and total volatilisation. Maybe that way when I'm a thousand tiny pieces I can try to sort the messed up fragments in to rational thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Quidditch 7 just for you my dear, my loylest of reviewers.

enjoy paula-lou

* * *

I watched as Harry helped himslf to two drinks off a passing house elf, he squesed past two well wishers and heads straight back towards me. Handing me back a drink he removes the paper umberella and sticks it in a potted furn.

"Neville would kill you for that." i say looking at him he unfastnes his tie and top button.

"What he dosn't know won't hurt him."

"Yeah, is that why you both ran out on Hermione like that?"

"We didn't mean to...Ron figured it would be for the best." Harry says as he takes a nervouse drink from his glass.

"And after everything that the three of you have been through you never thought that she might want to help?"

Harry shruged. his hair starting to fall in to his eyes, i have to admit there is something aluring about him i cant help but look at his eyes there so amazingly green,i can see what made Ginny fall for him, it's just a shame he has this Hero image that he can't seam to shake.

"So tell me about yourself..." i find myself saying as i fidget with the pants that i have to admit are wining the chalange.

"What is there to tell you that you probably dont already know."

I watch as the twins entertain a bunch of platinum blonds by the stage the band having now started to play.

"I have to say i know nothing about you as a person." he raises an eyebrow. "i know everything about you as The boy who Lived, nothing about you as Harry,other than what Ginny and Hermione have told me."

Harry finished his drink and took another from yet another passing house elf, i can't help but wonder what Hermione will think of all this slave labour.

"Yes Harry what of Harry Potter the man." says the same sacarin voice that i had been introduced to earler. Harry turns and smiles at Rita he says nothing but grabs me by the shoulders taking me towards the purple and blue tunnel that is now full of people trying to have conersations over the top of the music.

"That woman does nothing but wind me up." says Harry as we break out in to the fresh night air. I follow him trying not to shiver as the cold air hits me. " I don't know what made me come here tonight i really don't." he says as he leanes up against a wall.

"The fact that you need to learn to relax." i say resting on the wall next to him.

"It's hard to relax when you have been on alert for the last twelve years almost, i keep thinking i'm going to get attacked if i let my guard down."

"Well you don't have to worry, i got your back." i say taking my wand out of my back pocket.

"You shouldn't keep it there." Harry warns.

"Worst think i could do is blast some of my backside off, personaly i think that might be a good thing, its way to big to start with."

Harry grins at me, " I wouldn't say that."

"All it does is get me in to trouble.stupid fat ass." i say hitting myself.

Harry laugthes out loud at me.

"I bet it feels good to laugth."

"You have no idea" Harry says nodding in the direction of the Leaky cauldron. " It'll be quiet in there and it's frezing out here, shall we."

I nod as i follow Harry along the winding allyway towards the inviting pub.

"So you were asking about me..."

"Yeah, I don't belive half of the things that the papers said about you, and i only know what Ginny told me about you, other than that your a blank Harry mate, i know nothing about you."

Tom see's us as we walk in and rushes to give Harry drinks on the house, ushering us in to the spot by the fire.

"What do you want to know?" he asks as he helps himself to what look like ham sandwitches that have suddenly apeared in front of us.

"Anything..."

"Well, where do i start..."

"Nothing about the war, i'm sick of the war i want to know about you."

Harry starts talking, about everything and anything.

"And what about you?"

"What is there to tell you about me..." i take a sip of what must be my seventh drink, i dunno i know i'm an open person but something about Harry makes me trust him. " To be honset i'm still looking for the answers to some of that myself. My mother use to go to school with your mum and dad, i have no idea who my father is, i never knew him, it was a big secret that no one ever told me about. Even now my mother won't speak about it. I have never been to Wizard school , my mother taught me at home. i played quidditch although not to the standard that i could do it for a living." Harry nodded as he listened to my words.

"And until i met Neville when i sat my newts i had not known anyone my own age in our world."

Harry staired at me.

"Trust me it's a lot harder to fit in when your older, i mean try knowing that you can do magic and not being able to talk to anyone about it.."

"I didn't know anything about any of this."

i take a drink and look at the emerald eyes across from me, hes trying to figure me out, but we have gotten so far in such a short amount of time.

"So you don't know who your dad is?"

i shake my dark hair and it starts to fall in to my eyes.

"Wish i did, people keep looking at me strange, but to most i'm just someone trying to get by after the war."

"Maybe my dad knew your dad." said Harry smiling , " They might have been friends."

"I'd like to think they were."

Harry glanced at his watch, "I think we should head back..."

"Yeah, just let me call in at my mams first."

My mam was sitting behind the large desk in living room when we got there.

She gave a double take when i walked in with Harry.

"My god, I knew you looked like your father but i didn't realise quite how much..." my mum rushed over to Harry to look at him better.

"It's as if James has just walked in to the room..." she smiled at him and i feel like dying why does my mother have to be so humiliatling?

"You must be Mrs Miller?"

"Miss, Harry dear, I never married, not like your mum and dad inseperable...well eventualy."

Harry smiled at my mum, shes so forward, i feel awkward i can only begin to think how awkward he must feel.

"Elzbeth said you were friends with my dad, You must have known Remus and Sirius aswel."

i find the thing i was looking for, and turn back to my mum .

"She talks about Remus all the time, Sirius however, now i'm guessing that the two of them didn't see eye to eye."

"I don't think we should talk about this..." says my mum looking past me to Harry.

"No it's ok, i know a lot of people keep being carful about the subject, sirius is dead, there is nothing i can do about it but acssept that fact."

Harry looks down before excusing himself.

"Way to go Mam."

"Sorry, It's just well, the last time i saw Harry was when he was a very small child, i have to admit it's scary to look at him now all grown up."

i look at my mam, i can't belive her, here she is talking about nearly twenty four years ago so openly but she won't tell me anything about my past.

"Mam who's my dad?"

"I told you.."

" No you didn't.. you never tell me anything."

" I wan't to forget about it, so should you."

i stare at her unbeliving.

" How can i forget about something i dont know?" im so infuriated dosn't she understand how horid it is not to know who you are! I turn and storm out after Harry i can feel the tears running down my face but i don't care, i'm sick of not knowing who the hell i am.


	8. Chapter 8

Quidditch 7 your're my fave but dont let that go to your head!

italics Hermione

bold Elzbeth.

sorry for the typos and the grammers the word program im using sucks more than a Grim at a birthday party.

and so on with the story...you aint seen nothing yet...

love paula-lou

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i swore as i headed out in to the cold winter air of diagon ally, cursed my mother and the stupid history that I had never known, why was my past such a mistery. I kicked the wall, pointless, but it made Me feel better. I pulled my cloak closer to me trying my best to block out the cold chill that passed down the street, strongly reminded of dementors for a moment, as all the happiness that I had possesed back in the pub with Harry was slowly draining away.

"You alright?"

I jumped. grabing for my wand the voice laugthed at me quietly.

"If I was going to atack you would I have asked if you were alright first?" said Harry walking out of the shadows, the dim lantern above Florish and Blotts lighting his face enought to make me relise that he must have been watching, waiting for me to follow.

"You're turning in to a stalker." I said straightning my robes out.

"Well everyone needs a hobby."

I shruged, Harry pointed her in the direction of the party. "And before you say anything, I'm sorry for just walking out like that."

"Don't worry about it, i was about to apollogise for my mother being an insensitive git."

"I'm sure this is where i'm suposed to say that's just what there all like, but i can't talk from personal experiance." he shruged, we had reached the party but nither of us seamed to be willing to be the first to go in through the door.

"You recon it's safe to go back in there?" I ask Harry, more than aware that there is a air of silent loyalty growing between the two of us.

"Possibly not, i meen the fact that there isn't any minestry cars here removing the chared remaines of anyone that got caught in Hermione's wrath, leads me to think that maybe their saving it for us."

I pull my hair back in to a bun and secure it with an elastic from around my wrist.

"Super teacher to the rescue?" Harry says looking at me.

"No, I spent a lot of Gallions on this hair, unlike Tonks i can't change it at will, if she messes with the doo, Ronald will be reunited with a wraith."

Harry chuckeld, i have to admit it started sensing something sturing inside me whenever i hear him draw breath like that. I shiver and thankfully he mistakes it for me being cold.

"Inside." he orders directing me carefully with his hand, it's resting in the middle of my back and for the first time ever i am emensly aware of just how many nerve endings must be there, they all seam to be screaming for my attention.

"I take it this means were friends." i say as we walk back down the eerie corridor. he stops and i'm suddenly aware that the new found area of my back misses his now empty touch. I turn to look at him he's observing me.

"Not yet but i think we could be, You and me Miller, I think we understand eachother."

I didn't dare ask him what he ment.

_Ron watched me as I stood about nerviously, he knew i felt very self conciouse in the outfit that elzbeth had forced upon me, i was more than aware that people were looking at my scars, one of them being Ron._

_"Stop it." he said quietly moving closer to my side, even soemething so small as his presence next to mine filled me with a warmth that i haddent felt in years. i could feel his eyes falling on the scar that ran across the left of my chest. i shifted possistion so that my drink covered it._

_"Sorry." he said quietly. I shrug, i'm not used to it i normaly hide benith thick layers and hide away from sight. I feel exposed and it's no suprise this is the first time anyone but the healers have seen the aftermath the war left upon my body._

_Ron downs the firewhisky in his hand and shoves the glass on the table next to him. _

_He turns to me and smiles, reaching out for my glass. _

_"What?" I ask as he takes my drink and puts it next to his empty._

_"I owe you a dance, i owe you a lot but lets start with the small things and work our way up."_

_I can't help it my mind is in the gutter, i may be self conciouse but i have had about six whiskys and thats not before i count the Elzbeth special's that i was drinking earlyer. I let Ron take my hand and lead me out in to the floor smerking at him as he does so._

_"By little i didn't..." he dosn't get to the end of his sentance before we both burst out laugthing. i feel his hand wobble in mine, merlin it feels good to just be around him again, without the weight... he semes like a difrent man tonight, maybe him and Harry had just had to much time together. He catches my eye as we try to stem the torrents of laugthter that we've desended in to."You look beautyful." he says eventualy, "I love it when you laugth." It's only momentery but i do freze, but it passes._

_I don't say anything but we both know i don't need to, it's been a long time coming but finaly i think me and Ronald Weasley both know where we stand._

We run in to that awful Skeeter woman at the bottom of the stairs, she makes some snide coment in my direction, obviously she didn't like the way i talked to her earlyer. Harry shakes his head as we both scan what's left of the crowd for our respective best friends.

we both spot them at the same time. There slow dancing to the song the band are playing, the traditional end of the night now get the hell out of here song that they always play at the end of weddings, for a fleating second i wonder if the band know agado...

"I hate to desterb them." says Harry pointing at the sofa's that have arived from somewhere that are scattered around the walls. We sit ourself down between silent argument and a couple who looked like they wern't going to come up for air soon. Harry and I both looked at eachother and burst in to laughter again, when we came around from the visual conclusion that was going on around us, the ache in my side was to much, i found myself resting upon Harrys shoulder as the two couples either side stormed from the gathering.

"We seam to be peeing a lot of people of tonight." I say as Harry moves his hand behind me, i feel his hand on my now bare back, who am i kidding, right now i totaly understand what Ginny saw in him, Harry Potter is... he's just... he's just him and that makes him special.

"You'll learn, that happens alot around me." I look up at him as he moves his head to look at me. It's not just me it can't be i can see something burning behind his eyes.

"You two look comfortable." says Fred plonking himself uncerimoniously beside me and eyeing the way im resting upon Harry with a worrying look of male pride in his eye, begrudgingly i move my head from Harry's nice warm comfortable shoulder, Harry however dosn't remove the hand of reasurance from my back.

"I think i'm drunk Freddy..." i say leaning on him instead, horid memmorys of the red head in question and copiouse amounts of dodgy brown liquer fill my mind clouding the thoughts of Harry thankfuly out of my mind. "Drunk and i had a fight with my mam, i need somewhere to live tonight..." i say pulling my 'you know you love me'face at him.

"You can stop at mine," he says rolling his eyes, i feel Harry's hand fall down on to the seat behind me. "Just don't think your getting the bed again, sofa or floor..." he looks at me and smiles, "What about Hermione?" he asks.All three off us look across at where Ron and Hermione are dancing, now to some music playing quietly through the wireless that the band have on as they pack up.

"It's ok she can stop at mine and Ron's place, i don't think we're going to get to separate them tonight." there is something in the way he says that that makes me force myself not to look at him, but i bite my feelings down, we've only just made friend, i don't want to kill that by letting alchohol make me do something that i will probably regret in the morning.

"What did you and your mam fight about this time?" asks Fred getting to his feet.

"Dad." i say quietly.

Fred shakes his head, "I told you ask my mum you know what she's like she'll know who your dad is, shame you can't read minds."

"I can, and trust me it dosn't make things any easyer." Says Harry beside me, i look at him, his eyes bore straight back at me, i didn't know that harry was an oculims, but now that i do it makes things more complicated, i have to watch what i think as well as what i say! I know women are suposed to be able to multy task but thats way to much.

_I wonder if Ron's even noticed that the band have stoped and for the last ten minuites we have been dancing to jingles for 'late night love' with Danny Gnombman. I breath in his aftershave the smell of my Ron i don't want this moment to end i don't want to go back to reality, reality is to hard for me to fathom. Ron plays with the loose hair on my back as he pulles me closer, our foreheads pressed together as we sway, part of me wonders if this would have been what it was like if Ron had asked me to the yule ball all thoughs years ago, would he hold me with the confidence he has now, i don't think so. He's lived now, his life can be told by his grip the feeling of the skin under hand and the look of pure truth in his eyes as they seek out my own. For as long as i have had feelings for the man that at this moment in time holds me strongly in his arms, i have wondered what this moment would be like, the moment of pure adrenalin that courses through my veins. I wan't him. Thats why i froze before, it was the sudden relisation that everything i ever wanted had always been the thing that i was always trying to push away. That's the trouble with Ron, he gets under your skin and no matter how hard you try and shake him he never lets go._

_I have loved him for so long now i can't remeber what it felt like to not want to hold him and protect him, longging for the day when his lips were the fisrt and last things i felt in the day. We have always been a couple, always as long as i can remember, even if we were never ever a couple in the relationship way. He pulls me closer, i think that maybe even now the music aroud us has gone, it may have ,i think i stoped moving to it what seames like an age ago, were dancing to our own beat now, his eyes search mine, i know what he's looking for and he never needded to ask, he has always had me, even if he didn't know it. _

_His eyes close as his lips finaly ,after years of searching ,find mine.It's bitter sweet as the years of hurt it took to get here burn benith the surface but i know straight away that this is the last man i will ever kiss. His breathing is deep as i kiss him back just as cautiously, this is new tertory. Ron's grip on my back tightens and his hand moves up in to my hair. God I love him, everything about him, even the fact that he's a insensitive moronic git, but he loves me just as much. The intesity of his kiss proves that without a shadow of a doubt._

_"I hate to break up the party after all it's been a long time in coming..."_

_"Fantastic choice of words there Freddy" I hear elzbeth say as i bury my head in to Ron's shoulder to hide the fact that i've gone bright red._

_"But the ministry want there hall back so we gotta go."_

_i feel Ron guiding me towards the cloak room and out in to the night, i 've had to much to drink and i know i'll hate myself for that in the morning, but as Ron's hand finds mine as we hit the cold night air , i recon i can live with that._


	9. Chapter 9

Hello my little friends! I'm so glad your liking this story again , I'm trying to update flowers in her hair but i've hit the wall, i know what i have to write but cant get it to come out on paper...

but anyway on with this back to a simalar format as it started off in only dif is Elzbeth normal text and Hermione itallics...enjoy paula-lou

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**The day after yesterday**

When I wake the world seams to hate me,I'm more than a little aware that the sound of the street outside means I'm not in the castle, the brief fleeting moments of what happened last night come flooding back to me.

I role over and instantly regret it, it hurts every inch of my body to move a mere ninety degrees, I dread to think what my body will think when I tell it it's has to also get vertical. I somehow persuade my left eye to work although I'm almost a hundred percent certain that the thing is cemented together with mascara... oh the joys of the female race. I stare up at the cracked brown ceiling and I know exactly where I am, suddenly I'm a lot more animated, checking that all my limbs and my clothes are where I left them upon my person.

Thankfully they are and I quite literally breath a sigh of relief, you never know what's going to, or already has happened when you wake up in the home of the Weasley twins.

I look about the room getting my bearings, I'm in Fred's room, I know because he is flat out on the small sofa that he has in the corner of his room, it's normally covered in piles and piles of paperwork, well technicaly it still is..only it now also has a paper weight, a ginger Fred shaped one.

I try not to laugh as the paper rises and falls with his breath, endearing I'm sure if your in to red heads with freckles and a wickedly funny side, and how I wish I was interested... I love the dangerous side of it all, but as much as I've tried to like Fred and George I just can't there not my type.

I get to my feet carefully as you never know what's under foot in this flat, I help myself to a sweater and a pair of jean's from Fred's wardrobe and one of his belts and head out in to the hall way, the quiet only broken by the unidentifiable snores that ripped through the house.

I let myself in to the bathroom and check the bath for comatose body's, it's vacant thankfully so I attempt the unsavory job of washing off yesterdays makeup in the thing that passed itself as a bathroom sink. I do quite a good job considering I refuse to touch the flannel and I couldn't find a soap, I did somehow find a clean towel in the airing cupboard so I figure that there mother must still at least be doing their washing.

I feel better once I'm in some clean clothes, I had something unidentifiable stuck to my trousers and if I were in the Muggle world I would have said it was kebab, but seeing as I cant remember going in to Muggle London last night I don't think it is.

I struggle with the belt buckle as I head in to the living room my wet hair stuck to my face ( I stuck my head in the sink),

"Morning."

I stop dead in my tracks, Harry is sitting in my usual spot next to the huge window, he has what smells like coffee in his hands.

My first reaction is to try and remember everything I had said to him last night, my second thought is to forget that and hunt for Coffee. I don't need to he's made one already and it's sitting on the bench, I turn to say thank you but he lifts his finger to his lips to signal to me to be quiet, he points in the direction of the sofa, I edge over and look over the back, Hermione and Ron are asleep there, the patchwork blanket wrapped over the two of them.

I place myself across from him in the tiny alcove and take a sip of my coffee, it's very sweet just the way I like it.

"I heard the door go and I figured you would probably need something to bring you around."

I nod in thanks.

"Do you even remember what you did last night?" he whispers to me, I note the fact that he's moved closer to me,I look at him over the top of the mug, I try to ignore the smirk.

"No what did I do? Last thing I remember was trying to climb a lamppost..."

"That's the least of your worry's."

"Oh god what did I do." I whisper.

Harry laughs quietly and my eyes follow his gaze, there's a rather crumpled and bedraggled Christmas Tree in the corner of the room...

"Where did I steel it from..." I say quietly.

"You really don't remember?" He says, he looks quiet impressed. "You stole it from outside Gringots!"

There is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, how in the name of all things wizard did I get a seven foot Christmas tree from the most well guarded building in the entire magic community? I'm so dead if they find out it was me.

"It's probably just as well you never got a chance to go to Hogwarts, I think Fred and George would have met there match."

I down the last of the coffee.

"I have to take it back." I say getting to my feet.

"No you don't that would be a very bad idea..." he said pulling me back down. " and anyway you promised me you would go Christmas shopping with me anyhow."

I turn to look at him, Christmas shopping? He has to be kidding, I don't even do the Christmas shopping myself.

"You promised, and anyway do you really want to be here when the two of them wake up?" he said pointing to the dozing duo on the sofa.

In all fairness it wasn't as awful as it could have been, Diagon ally was quite as most people had already done there shopping long before the day before Christmas eve. As we stepped out the flat it was nice to have someone to talk to instead of Just Hermione and the rest of the staff, it was also reassuring to be able to finaly talk in a normal voice again instead of horse whispers.

My voice sounded awful, I'm guessing that at some point last night I must have been singing along to some music as my vocal cords sounded strained, but I guess I'll just add that to the list of things that I will probably never remember.

"You all right?" asked Harry shedding his eyes from the sun that reflected of the snow.

"Yeah, just disappointingly un-hung over, you would think that ,that amount of alcohol would have me bed ridden for a few days but alas..."

"We did drink a bit..."

"It was good though." I say looking at him as we pass the hall where the Party had been the night before, House elves picked the plastic cups from the gutter.

"Hermione won't like it." Harry said grinning.

"She doesn't like a lot of things, but that's just our Hermione though." he nodds and I get that weird tugging feeling of longing that I had a few times last night. I was hoping that it had just been the influence, but I must have been mistaken. I can't have feelings for Harry, it's not right, he was my best friends boyfriend. The little voice doesn't want to listen though, it keeps telling me that I shouldn't listen to myself Ginny would have wanted us both to be happy...

"Elzbeth you ok?"

"Yeah, sorry you were saying?"

"I was saying you play Quidditch right?"

"Yeah," I say thankful of something else to draw my attention other than the gaze of the two green haunting eyes. "Beater, when I ever get on the pitch, I'd have loved to play for the Harpies but well..."

We stand by the window of the Quidditch supply shop for a long time talking about brooms, before we head off towards the post office, Harry saying that he wanted to owl someone he knew in Bulgaria.

I stop walking about three seconds after Harry, I turn to see why he's stopped.

He's standing outside Olivanders. The shop had stood empty ever since the night that Olivander had been taken. The window ledge now full of dust lay untouched, the staring eyes of wanted Death Eaters staring out at the street and a notice about Dementors patrolling the streets served as a lasting reminder of the war.

"I hated the Dementors coming to the house." I say suddenly looking at the poster of Sirius that Harry was staring at.

"Why did the Dementors come to your house?" Harry asked me, his handsome face contorted.

"They wanted to search the place, they checked more than once...They suck the happy out of you don't they, Mam told the minestry that they were waiting there time..."

"Did they think you were helping the Death eaters or something?"

I shrug," I don't know I really don't I spent most of the time I was there trying my best to find out what was going on, I would hide in the Cupboard in the kitchen listening at the gap, trying to grab snatches of conversation between Dumbeldore and Fudge..."

"Why were they at your house?"

"I don't know, think I didn't ask that a million times? I mean how often does the Minster of magic or Dumbeldore turn up at your house?"

"Was that a rhetorical question? Because in Dumbeldor's defence he did come to my house and attack my aunt and uncle with glasses of whisky once..."

If ever there was a conversation killer that was it, I stare at him open mouthed.

"Now that's possibly the quietest I've ever heard you, even when we weren't talking."

"Well your the one that keeps coming out with the random stuff."

"Well it's the truth." he says matter of factly and I can't help but notice the way that he's been watching me this morning, every time I've looked up he's been fixing on me with his eyes. It's making me feel a little uneasy but not in a bad way.

"You wanted to post something?" I remind him. He looks at me as if I'm mad for a few seconds before he seams to remember himself.

"Yeah I have a Christmas card I want to send to Krum."

_I can feel someone resting next to me as I start to wake, the memory's of last night starting to muddle in my mind, Where am I? last thing I remember was..._

_Ron._

_I think back to the way he kissed me, the way he held me, I don't need to open my eye's I know fine well who's lying next to me with there arms wrapped protectively around me._

_"Morning Hermione." _

_It's barly a whisper, it sneaks in to my hearing, my body automaticaly curls in to him more. I feel him kiss me gently on my hair line, He's so gentle in his touch._

_"Morning Ron." I say finaly opening my eyes and looking up at him. _

_His grip doesn't lessen on me as I look at him. "It's ok, I'm not going anywhere." I reassure him and he drops his grip slightly._

_"Promise?"_

_I could strangle him I really could._

_"No more promises Ron, you should just know." I say trying to move to get up, but Ron stops me pulling me down on top of him on the sofa where we spent the night. I try my best to get back up off him but his hands are round my waist and as much as I struggle to get away I realise the struggle is more with myself than the slight grip Ron has on my flesh. The tips of his fingers gently pinching my hips, he pulls himself up till he's sitting and I'm facing him leg either side of his lap. I can't say I ever thought me and Ron would see the day that we would be sitting like this...It's as if an electric charge is moving through my body making me want to get closer to him, break down the last of the layers between us, I've waited to long to be with him, nearly ten years is a long time._

_"I'm glad you can't read my mind right now." he says looking up at me with them two big blue eyes of his that i can quite happily get lost in for hours._

_"I wish I could." I say as I trace the arch of his shoulders with my hands, his shirt all creased with sleeping in it._

_He goes slightly red and pulls me closer to him._

_"Harry and Elzbeth have gone out." he says quietly in to my ear, as he pulls my top back in to place._

_"What together?"_

_He smiles and nodds. "They were very close in the window seats this morning, I would have woke you but you looked so peaceful, it's been a long time since I saw you look so calm."_

_"We'll there hasn't been much to be that calm about really has there." _

_Ron runs his hands down my arms and then lifts me off his knee. "Well it's about time we got back to trying to live for now we've been living in the past for far to long."_

_"That's a very grown up statement for you." he casts me a look over his shoulder as he heads for the twins fridge. I'm quietly impressed that he didn't give me a snide comment back at that, but he really has grown up._

_"There's nothing to eat." he says sticking his head back out of the fridge._

_"Did you expect anything less?"I say getting to my feet and pulling my denim skirt back in to place. I walk over to the fridge to see what's there, nothing was an understatement._

_"Do you have your wand?" Ron asks me closing the door._

_I shake my head I have no idea where Elzbeth put my wand last night I doubt she gave it back not when I was in the state that I was in last night._

_"I don't even have anything to get changed in to... I need to go to Elzbeth's my stuff is there." Ron nodds and for the first time I realise that I have no idea where the two of them are staying._

_"Where are you both staying anyway?" I ask him._

_"Sirius's house." Ron says shrugging, "I don't think I can be home for longer than a few days at a time now, Its just so empty." I nod I understand what he means without the sound of his family creating havoc in the house the Burrow seamed almost dead._

_"We'll lets go down to Elzbeth's Mothers and then I'll buy you breakfast from the cafe on the corner." I say as Ron cautiously picks up a furry mug._

_"You're on."_

"Don't you ever get sick of being famous?" I ask him as a small child walks off with a autograph, Harry had reluctantly signed it after the child burst in to tears.

"All the time, it's not something that I chose for myself really."

"Well just don't be offended if I don't ask for your autograph as well."

I pick up a tiny owl that looks like it couldn't carry a grape let alone the heavy letter that Harry has in his hand.

"Whatever you do don't tell Ron I'm sending Krum a card, it just isn't worth the aggregations."

I raise my eyebrow at him.

"You mean to tell me that Hermione hasn't told you about Victor Krum, I thought that you girls did that 'lets talk boys' stuff." He pays the wizard behind the counter and we walk to the door.

"Most girls do, heavens knows Ginny board me rigid talking about you..." I relies what I've said two seconds to late, I see Harry try his best to shrug it to one side but he can't.

"Listen I know that you think that I came along and tried to take Gin's place but I really haven't Harry, Ginny and Neville were my only friends when I came in to this world, I miss her as much as anyone. Apart from maybe you, You can't blame yourself for her death Harry." He turns to back answer me but I cut him off.

"You didn't kill her, she loved you to death..but she would hate you to give up on life over her."

He says nothing as we head down the street to the Cafe on the corner. It isn't un till I get in there that I realise that my mother is here and she's not alone.

"Morning you two." says Remus as we walk towards the two of them, it didn't go unnoticed that they had both fallen silent on seeing us. "You look like you've both been up all night." he says smiling.

"Well at least till four am." says Harry sitting down in front of the open fire and picking up a menu, he nodds to the seat next to him on my mothers side.

"Last time I checked you two hated each other." Remus said looking at me then Harry.

"We still do don't we El?"

"We will do if you keep calling me El." I say trying not to look at my mother, I haven't forgiven her for last night yet.

"Where is Hermione?" My mother asks, I can tell she's upset over something and it's more than just the usual fight that I had with her last night.

"We left her at the Twins flat, she's with Ron she's fine." I say quietly.

"Yes I heard something about the two of them locking themselves in a toilet?" says Remus watching the two of us.

Harry absorbs himself in the menu, I shrug, I'm not saying anything, If it's going to get back to Ron's mum it should be the two of them that tell her.

"Where were you last night, I looked for you and Tonks..."

"James is getting a new tooth, he wouldn't stop screaming...I did tell Tonks to go but she refused, something about wanting to stay at home with a old timer like me."

My mother laughs and I look at her for the first time, How often have my mam and Remus been meeting up like this?

Harry gets up and goes to the counter informing me that he's just going to order, I let him go.

"And what were you two talking about when we interrupted you?" I say swinging back on the chair.

"Old times." says Remus smiling, "Me and your mother go a long way back, I have to admit if it wasn't for your mother and Lily I would never have passed Charms, never could get the wand movement quite right."

"It really wasn't your fault..."

"Yes it was I should never have sat anywhere near Sirius he was a distraction." said Remus sipping from his cup.

my mother nods. "He certainly was that, Never a Charms lesson went by without Severus or Sirius jinxing the other."

"I was just telling you're mother that Dumbeldore never figured out it was her and Lily that kept breaking in to the Kitchens."

"What about my mum?" said Harry sinking back in to his seat and passes me another cup of coffee.

"Remus was just telling me that Albus never found out that it was me and you're mother that would raid the Kitchens on a night time, of course Remus and your father figured it out quiet fast."

"So you were in my mum's class as well?" Harry said quietly.

"I think out of all the people in our year, in our house.. I think were the only two left aren't we?" My mum asks Remus quietly a haunted look crosses both of there faces. For the first time I realise how lonely my mother must have been for so long...

The four of us sit there listening to Remus and my Mother talking about the way the two of them would sneak about the castle on prefect duty and how my mother had always known that there was something deferent about Remus.

The entire time I'm torn between wanting to hate my mother and waiting for her to slip up, reveal something that might point in to the direction of my past.

The breakfast appears ( Harry had ordered exactly right, I could have kissed him but I thought that probably would be a very bad thing.) and so do Ron and Hermione, I notice that Hermione drops Ron's hand as they enter the Cafe.

We re-arrange the table to make room for the two of them, now Harry is uncomfortably close to me, his body running the length of my own.

"So this must be Ron?" My mother says introducing herself, "Magenta Miller, Elzbeth's mam, nice to finaly meet you." Ron takes her hand rather reluctantly.

"We didn't wake you both up did we?" I say finaly finding my voice, Hermione goes a little pink in the ears but shakes her head.

"Don't forget you need to pick up Grace's gift..." I say shoving a piece of toast in my mouth, Hermione nods she looks awful, but Ron doesn't seam to care he's looking at her with a quite revere. Both me and Harry look at each other his eyes sparkle behind his glasses, I think he is starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"So when are you off to the Burrow?" Remus asks Ron, as he takes the menu.

"Got to pick our stuff up from Sirius's place and then we're going over to see mum, You and Tonks coming over for Christmas tea?" he asks nudging Hermione to go order, she glares at him but she doesn't argue.

"Wouldn't dream of missing it!"

Ron turns and looks at me and my mother, "You're both more than welcome to come join us."

I look at Harry there's something in the way that he's looking at me that makes me want to say yes, so I do.

"Cool, I'll tell mum, I'm sure the twins will love you being there." says Ron looking up at Hermione as she gets back in to the seat next to him.

We chat till the last two orders arrive, More story's from mum's youth, this time Quidditch. Both Hermione and Remus seam only to be pretending to be interested in the conversation. When it's gone quite and Ron's finished Hermione's left overs Harry starts to speak.

"So what's the plan?" He asks Ron.

"Hermione needs to get changed then back to Sirius' mate." says Ron, and I'm not the only one that notices the look that passes between Remus and my mother, Hermione does as well and now she's looking at me curiously.

"Sounds like a plan..." I say getting to my feet. Why do I get the feeling that whatever I walked in on earlier was about me?

My head is spinning there's so many new questions that have came out of listening to my mother and Remus chatting.

Why does everyone I meet keep looking at me as if they have seen me before it's starting to bug the heck out of me, I take the flat keys off mam and I'm first out the door and in to the cold street.


	10. Chapter 10

**A house elf curse.**

After I have pulled some of my own clothes on and dried my hair in to something that resembles a hairstyle, I glance in the mirror and check that I haven't turned in to someone else over night. I don't feel right. Elzbeth Miller does not fall for someone so quickly. Scrap that Elzbeth Miller doesn't fall for someone full stop. I'm like my mother I don't need anyone. Yet the entire time I've been back in the flat I've done nothing but think about Harry. I know he's on the other side of that door now, and that makes me feel somehow better.

I grab my scarf and head back in to the living room where Harry is looking at the pictures on the harth.

"You were a fat baby." He says looking at me.

"Thanks." I say taking the picture off him. "You have such a way with words."

Harry grinned at me. "I have to say I like the picture of you in a Muggle school uniform, you also looked like you were dressed in bits of dead elephants I see." Said Harry pointing at the picture in the silver frame.

"I got expelled from that school for accidentally blowing up the science lab." I say trying not to laugh as I remember the Bunsen burner igniting.

"Classy, lets guess your about ten?"

I nod.

"Did you always know you were a witch?"

"I kind of had an idea, I mean I could have been a squib, I didn't do magic till I blew up the lab. I mean I knew mam was a witch." I say as we head out in to the softly falling snow.

"Was it weird growing up with her using magic?" Harry asks as we head down the road to the leaky. His voice is inquisitive and I know it's just because he didn't have the childhood that many with our powers have. I wish I could help him but I can't.

"I didn't know any different, I mean as far as I knew all the kids that I went to school with could have had self cleaning clothes and travel by floo powder."

Harry nodded to Tom the barkeep as we passed through. The brief warm left us again as we headed up cheering cross road and in to the sea of Christmas shoppers.

"And we couldn't floo there because?" I ask him as a fat woman with what looks like a rocking horse hits me in the side.

"Not connected to the network, you have no idea how much the Black's didn't want to be found." Says Harry pulling me down a side alleyway. I see him reach for his wand. "I think were being followed so I'm going to apperate us there you ok with that?" he asks me. I nod and he pulls me closer I'm not going to tell him I hate apparition it makes me want to throw up.

I feel the world press in as we turn on the spot, when I brave opening my eyes were standing in a dirty old square surrounded by run down buildings.

"You live in this dump?"

"It's not to bad once you get used to it." He said releasing the grip on me but keeping his hand in mine, "It's still got a load of charms on it but you need to know the address to get in" he said as he dragged me towards the space where number twelve should have been.

"Twelve Grimauld place." Harry said to me in a whisper that made all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I watched as suddenly a house appeared between eleven and thirteen.

"That's good magic!" I say and then want to hit myself for being so pathetic.

"It's one of Dumbledore's." says Harry running his wand up the wooden door. I hear locks sliding back. "It's not much fun when you first go in but we've never been able to lift the jinx that Remus and Moody put on the place, you might want to stay behind me." Said Harry as he pushed the door open.

The house was dark and eerie, it was like something from a B movie, it got worse as we stepped forward and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. Harry gripped my hand tighter and stepped forward. Out of the dust arose a figure that I hadn't seen since in a long time. It started walking towards us, if I could have screamed I would have. Harry however spoke "We did not kill you." He said his voice calm. The figure exploded in a puff of smoke. I suddenly became aware of how tight I was holding on to Harry as my mouth resumed its normal function.

"Remus did that?" I asked him.

"I know sick isn't it." Said Harry leading me towards a room to the left. He pointed his wand ahead and lit the fire at the very far end of the room, I had expected this room to be as neglected as the hallway but as the fire lit the space, a well looked after and clean room came to view.

"I've got a house elf." Harry said as way of an explanation. I wasn't aware that I had made such an obvious noise.

"So this is your house?" I say looking around.

"Well it's Sirius's, but I inherited it when he died, that and…" he looked around. "Kretcher."

There was a loud crack and then…

"Master Harry!" I had seen house elf's before there were many up at the castle, Dobby included, but I had to admit I had never seen one that looked so old.

"Elzbeth this is Kretcher." Said Harry as the creature bowed low. It surveyed me with a curious look.

"Mistress looks familiar, Kretcher thinks he may have met her before."

"I work at Hogwarts." I say as the creature stares me down.

"Yes, yes that must be It." Says Kretcher as he turns his attention to Harry. " How can I help Master Harry."

Harry looked from the house-elf to me and then back, "I need my stuff taking to the Burrow, you know where Ron's mum lives." Said Harry. "Then you're free to do what you want." Harry looked around the kitchen. "Has someone been here Kretcher? Someone other than me and Ron I mean."

Kretcher looked up at Harry his eyes widened.

"Yes sir, Master Lupin had been in, he came with a woman that I did not know, they talked about Kretcher's old master the Black boy."

"Mam's been here." I say looking at Harry.

"You don't know that! It could have been anyone with Remus."

"Oh come on, you saw the way they were talking this morning, and Remus didn't turn up last night!"

Harry looked at me; I could see him trying to look in to my mind, so I blocked him out.

" Right well what would they be here for?"

"I don't know!" I say getting annoyed with myself. "Maybe there was something here belonging to Sirius that my Mam and Remus didn't want me to see."

"Like what?"

"I dunno do I, I mean they were all friends at school, obviously still friends after school, that's why the Dementors came to my house all the time." I sink down in to the chair at the long wooden table.

"Kretcher did Remus take anything?" asked Harry.

"Just some old books." Said the elf.

"Thanks Kretcher, you can go now."

I hear a crack and I know the elf is gone. But he's just raised more questions, what has this house got to do with my mother?

Harry shows me in to Sirius' old room, the walls are dark but the Gryffindor colours break the gloom. Sirius was proud of the fact that he wasn't like the rest of his family. I sink down on to the large four poster bed. Its soft and inviting and I lay back on the covers instinctively.

"It's alright just make yourself at home." Said Harry laughing as he approached the burro by the bed, I tip my head to the side and watch him, he twiddles with the lock poking the wand in to the gap where the key should go. After a few attempts the draw slides open, he tosses a book on to the bed by me.

"It's the closest thing Sirius ever kept to a diary, knock yourself out, I'm gonna go take a bath."

I watch as he pulls a pair of jeans and a shirt out of the wardrobe.

"Don't be to long or I might have to join you." I shout as he heads for the door, he stops in his tracks.

"You didn't mean to say that out loud did you?"

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." I say turning my attention to the red book in front of me. "You're the one that invited me in to your home, I'm lying on your bed, people are going to start talking Mr Potter, I hope your ready for that."

He lent on the doorpost for a second to long; I didn't need to be an oculums to see what he was thinking. Shit I hate my bloody big mouth sometimes why don't I think before I speak.

"Let them think what they want." He said nodding as he disappeared around the corner.

I bit my lip so hard I think I may have drawn blood, I felt so bad as my mind followed him down the corridor and in to the bathroom, I hated myself for it but I couldn't help it.

I tried to make my mind focus on the book in front of me. I opened the leather-clad tomb and looked at the front page, a boy who was evidently James Potter, for the resemblance to Harry was uncanny waved up at me next to a boy who must have been the allusive Sirius. I looked down at the picture, Sirius seamed quite handsome, hadn't Remus said that he was popular?

I turned the pages quickly, scanning pictures, reading short outbursts from the author, mainly blasted in the direction of some boy named 'Snivellus'. There were many References to Evens and someone that Sirius liked to refer to as 'Pinkie'. Sirius's handwriting was joined by others people that called themselves Moony and Prongs, there comments made for interesting reading.

It was like looking in to the past as pictures of my mother started to show up in the pages as I turned them.

My mother looked nothing like me when she was at school, the only resemblance was the eyes, she had the same green eyes, if it wasn't for that I don't think I would have recognised her.

The centre pages of the book were the most revealing.

My mother smiled back at me her hair hanging loosely around her face standing arms linked with the girl who would become Harry's mother, both girls were dressed in dress robes, both smiled up at the camera.

Bellow the photo the handwriting I had learned belonged to Prongs declared that the girl on the right was 'Evens' and the untidy scrawl that belonged to Sirius declared that the girl on the left was 'Pinkie',

'The ball, and two of the hottest dates to be had.' Had been scrawled across the back of the photo that was pealing from the page.

"Harry!" I shout.

"What!" comes along from the bathroom, suddenly my mind is torn from the book and along the hall again.

"My mam is in this book, Sirius took her to some ball or other…"

I hear Harry out in the hall and look up; my mind drops in to the gutter faster then it takes to say butter beer.

"Really?" he says walking towards me as he starts fastening up his buttons on his shirt. I really wish he wouldn't, my heart is in my mouth as he sits himself down on the bed next to me. The smell of soap washes over me. He has to know he's doing it right? He looks at me through his glasses; he smiles and lies down next to me on the bed. That crazy electric feeling shoots down the side of me again.

"That's your mum then?" he says looking down at the picture.

"And yours." I say looking down at Lily she looked so happy the smile reached all the way to her eyes so did my mums.

"You don't think…"

"What… that Sirius is your dad?" Harry said looking at me. "Yeah I thought that, but he would have said something right, I mean my parents would have know for a start, I mean we have to think of this logically. If your mum and my mum were such good friends, how would something so obvious go unsaid between them." Harry said quietly.

"I wasn't born until a month after your parents died, Harry… if they were in hiding, maybe they didn't know?"

"Listen I met Sirius and if he had any kids he would have told me." Harry propped himself up on his elbows as I resisted the urge to move closer. "Anyway there's an easy way to find out." Said Harry.

"Kretcher!"

There was a crack and the elf appeared again.

"Tell him to do something." Said Harry quietly under his breath.

"What?"

"Just tell him to do something really stupid." Said Harry whispering in to my ear, I turn to look at him, his face is painfully close to mine. "Just do it."

"Ok…Kretcher throw yourself down the stairs." I say to the elf, hoping to god that he won't listen to me. He doesn't he just stands there looking at us.

"Thank you Kretcher, that's all I wanted." Says Harry smiling.

"What you looking so smug about." I say as he grins in my ear.

"If you were Sirius's kid, Kretcher would have to do as you say, it's the house elf's curse as Hermione likes to call it on her good days."

"So I'm not a Black then." I say sinking face first in to the dark green bed cover.

I feel Harry sink on to the bed next to me. He brushes my hair away from my face tucking it behind my ear as I turn to look at him.

"It's not logical, but I agree with you that something is up." He scans my face, god his eyes are so green. "Remus knows something let me work on him."

"I know that something to do with me was in this house Harry. I need to know who I am, I'm sure you can understand that right."

He moved closer, his nose grazed mine as he stared me in the eyes.

"I will do everything I can to help you, you know that right?"

"Harry Potter the hero going to save me is he?" I say grinning, some how this place feels like home, even if my stomach is doing flips at how close Harry is to me, How fast this could turn in to something more, you could cut the air between us.

"It's what I'm good at." He says never once blinking.

"You're supposed to hate my guts." I say quietly.

" I can change my opinion on something cant I?" he answered quietly. I'm glad I'm lying down or I think I may have fallen. In fact I know I've fallen and it's not good, this is my dead best friends boyfriend. But even that fact can't stop me from wanting to kiss him, some things defy logic.

"Yeah you can." I say as I rub my nose against his, his hand resting on my hip. As close as two people could be before crossing that line.

"Elzbeth…is it wrong that I want to kiss you."

"Does it feel wrong?" I ask him. I can feel him shaking slightly.

"No…it feels right, it's just…"

"Different?" I ask. "It's ok, like you said I'll do everything I can to help you ok?"

"Ok."

There is a scream from the hallway downstairs; it's followed by a lot of swearing. I don't know who jumped back faster Harry or me.

"Ron and Hermione." Said Harry apologetically.

"And the screaming?"

Harry laughs nervously. "That, that would be your potential Grandmother…"

I tuck the book under my arm and cursing Ron and Hermione under my breath for having the worse timing that's known to man I follow Harry from the room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hag's for the memories.**

_Hermione's pov._

I haven't been in this house in over a year; I forgot how much I hate the way that the dust settles around the door, forgot how much I hate Sirius's forefathers. It's something deep routed but no matter how much this place was a home to me I will never be able to call it home as long as I harbour a hatred that I have for the night that Ron walked away and left me. This was the first place I came looking for them that night. Unable to control my rage at being left behind, Mrs Black had woken and the tirade of hate that she threw my way only added to the hurt that I felt at the betrayal.

I watch as Ron swears at the portrait forcing the long black drapes over the screaming twisted face. He sinks down on the step at the bottom of the long twisting stairs.

All I see is that night, me sitting in the same spot as Ron now and crying so hard that I thought I may die, the ache in my chest slowly crushing me stopping me from breathing.

How my heart broke as the last people I cared for left me behind, after everything, after all the fighting I had done, the final fight had been with no one but myself.

Ron looks up at me, he reaches out and I take his hand.

"I never meant to hurt you, you need to believe me." He says pulling me in to a hug.

I scan his big blue eyes, I know he never meant to hurt me, but this is Ron what he says and what he does may seam like there the same thing to him but they can be exact polar opposites to someone looking from the outside. Ron's hand finds mind and I grip it softly.

We head up the stairs to the room I know that Ron had clamed as his own.

We run in to Harry and Elzbeth on the landing, Elzbeth catches my eye for a split second before looking away, I may not have known her all that long but I know that we've just interrupted something.

"What's that?" asks Ron with all the tact that we've learned to love over the years. He points at a large red book under Elzbeth's arm.

"Research." Says Elzbeth.

"My god you don't half sound like Hermione, its Christmas Eve, give it a rest."

Elzbeth looks at me I can see the corner of her mouth twitching, "Is he always like this?"

I shrug. "It's just Ron." She says pushing him up the stairs. I hear Harry whisper something to Elzbeth it's so quite that I can't quite make it out.

I look back over my shoulder, the two of them stand framed in the doorway, and Elzbeth catches my eye and smiles.

Talk about a change of mind, only a week ago they hated each other.

I follow Ron in to his room; it's just as messy as any room owned by him ever was.

His clothes aren't hanging in the wardrobes that line the wall; scattered all over the floor and over chairs. He shoves a load of them from the bed and makes a space for me to sit.

"Is it safe for me to get that close to your socks?" I ask picking up a pile of the clothes and starting to fold them in to neat piles. He watches me as he throws some of the clothes in to the rucksack that hung from the bottom of his bed.

"What's Elzbeth really want?" he asks me eventually. I look at him, I knew something was going on in that little mind of his.

"She just wants to be friends, not everyone is after something." I say passing him the folded laundry. "She might not have been in the front line but the war affected her to, I trust her, that should be good enough for you."

Ron looked up at me as he stuffed the clothes in to his sack. "Why the sudden interest in Harry?"

"I don't think that's all one sided, haven't you felt the tension between the two of them?" I say, then realise who I'm talking to, "Well, maybe you haven't seeing as how you have all the perception of a plank of wood."

Ron looks momentarily hurt, but gets his footing back fast.

"I just don't want Harry getting hurt, he's only just started getting over Ginny." He says quietly sitting down next to me on the green bedspread.

"I know he has, but maybe Elzbeth might be the one that helps him get over her." I reach out and place my hand over his, mine look so small next to his I spread my fingers trying to cover his fingers, trying to make myself believe that he's really still here.

"What's she looking for?" he asks me quietly. He lifts my head so I have to look at him and take my eyes from the skin that my fingers trace.

"Her past, she's trying to find out who her father is." I say remembering the many late night conversations that I had been part of. "It'll keep Harry out of mischief something I think he needs."

"And what about you, what do you need Hermione?" he asks me quietly as he wraps his fingers in to mine.

"Me?" I say looking at him. "Me, I need you, you have no idea how much I need you." I say reaching up and stroking my hand along his cheek, day old stubble grazes my fingers his eyes close at my touch.

"I missed you." He says softly not opening his eyes.

"Then you shouldn't leave me, you should stay by my side." I say as I run my thumb gently down his nose, the freckled skin I loved so dearly buried deep within the tan that a year out in the wilds bestowed upon him. He looks amazing, but in the same breath I realise that he looks old, older than I had noticed upon his return. There is a hint of grey in with the ginger that I love so dear. Was the loss of his sister such a blow to him? Or did leaving me that night drive him to this sorry state.

"I'm sorry 'Mione, I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry I left like that."

"You don't have to say sorry."

"But I want to, you have to understand I couldn't stand to see you go through all that again, it killed me to watch it the first time, I couldn't watch you go through the pain that we went through the first time."

I drop my hand from his face.

"No, but you would quite happily let me stay here and go crazy waiting for you to return?" I feel like punching him. " I cried myself to sleep for months Ron, every night was the same, I would wake at the slightest noise, hopping praying that it was you coming back to me." I get to my feet and busy myself picking up the remainder of the clothes that scatter the room. I can't look at him, I can feel the tears, and being in this place has brought back more than memories. Its bought back the pain.

Ron gets up and walks out, I hear him kick the troll's foot at the bottom of the stairs and slam the kitchen door.

I stare blankly out in to the snowy square from the window for some time listening to Mrs Blacks screaming before I realise that Harry has joined me.

"You could cut him some slack." Harry says quietly.

"I haven't even started on you yet, so don't come in here telling me what to do." I snap.

"I'm just saying it was hard for him as well, you shouldn't just fly off the handle at him." Says Harry in his calming tone. I look at him; sometimes I want to punch him just as much as I want to punch Ron.

"I was so lonely." I say quietly.

"And so was he, you know he's been no good at anything without your help for as long as I can remember, Hermione you need to try and keep it calm."

"Why should I, I have every right to be mad." I say watching as Harry walks away. He pauses at the door to pick up Ron's bag.

"All I'm saying Hermione is that you're not the only one that cried themselves to sleep."


	12. Chapter 12

sorry i know it's been forever... this is for quidditch 7 im sorry it's taken so long!

I watched as Hermione soundlessly walked out in to the now gathering snowstorm that whipped down the alleys and around the square

I watched as Hermione soundlessly walked out in to the now gathering snowstorm that whipped down the alleys and around the square. Hermione looked back over her shoulder at Harry and Elzbeth before disapperating off in to the night.

"She ok?"

"No." said Harry closing the door on the snowy scene outside.

The raging fire in the kitchen calls us to it and I sit next to Harry at the old oak table.

"Shouldn't you go with her?" I ask him as he stares in to the burning flames.

"They need time to throw things at each other."

I trace the pattern of the wood on the table. Watching the way that the light flickers on the wood and how Harry casts a shadow over the gap between us.

"What is it about all of us…why is it only our generation that seams so damn confused!" I don't know where it came from but it came from something that was buried deep within me.

Harry stood and watched me as I tried to make his face out in the dimming light.

"Were the forgotten generation, we have no one to look at for guidance… look at us how many of us have parents left? How many of us have a life that hasn't seen trauma and pain?"

Harry slipped in to the seat beside me quietly, I felt his hand find mine.

"You're not aloud to do the bitter and twisted, that's my call." I can feel my lips forming a smile.

" I saw that."

"Oh shut up."

" I will be right back." He said getting to his feet. I watch him go he looks back as he turns to go up the stairs.

There is a creek behind the kitchen door. I automatically reach for my wand before realising it just Kretcher. He is watching me quietly.

"I know you." He whispers quietly.

"Yes, Harry just introduced me." I say quietly back, for some reason I just don't want to be loud around this animal, I'm scared it will frighten him away.

"No I know you, Kreatcher has been and seen many things…"

I get up and walk towards the animal that steps back quickly and cowers.

"I'm not going to hurt you!" I say quickly shocked at the sudden withdrawal.

The creature looks at me, slowly it backs away…

"Kreatcher, stop…"

I watch as the beast freezes to the spot his long brittle ears trembling.

A sound upstairs makes me look up.

"Kretcher I need you up here a second" shouts Harry's voice and with a loud crack Kretcher was gone.

I step back and look at the spot where the elf just stood.

He took a direct order from me. He couldn't move at all.

I check around the room behind me, no I'm alone there isn't anyone else here. How does he know me? The elf was old; he could be getting confused in his old age. Was he confusing the earlier introduction with a much older memory?

"There you are! Are you ok?" Harry stood looking at me in the doorway.

"Yeah, just …oh nothing."

Harry looked at me over the top of his glasses. "You sure you're ok?"

"It's ok, I'm just being a bit crazy it's alright what were you saying?"

Harry handed me the small diary that we had been reading upstairs.

"Merry Christmas."

I look down at the tomb.

"Before you say anything I want you to have it, it might tell you a bit about your dad if you dig deep enough."

"But, but…"

"Shut up and take it" he smiled at me and reached out for my hand, I take it as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Come on we should go see if Hermione has turned Ron in to a toad yet, although to be honest it would take a lot to make her go that far." Said Harry leading me in to the hall.

"You really don't know your best friend do you?"

"Hermione is a angel."

"Yeah of the demonic sort, I don't think you realise how much you to leaving affected her."

Harry stopped at the door and looked in to the dark hall.

"It's going to take a while but things will go back to normal."

I just shake my head.

"This is what I mean, there isn't anything that we can call normal, we don't know normal."

"It's Christmas Eve, can we not get in to this?"

I look in to the dark where Harry is looking Kretcher is watching us.

"Good night Kretcher, Merry Christmas." Says Harry reaching for the doorknob.

The elf bowed low, and muttered under his breath so low I don't think Harry heard but I swear that I heard him say ' and the same masters.'

Have I told you how pig stubborn Ronald Wesley is? He is the most arrogant stubborn pigheaded arrogant pigheaded…oh who am I kidding, he is what I make him. He is standing at the far end of the lane that leads to his mothers with a smug look on his face.

"It's been so long since I saw you walking down this lane." He calls to me. The wind is low here, the snow deep and undisturbed bar his footprints. I watch as my feet fall in to the holes that his have left in the snow before me I cant remember the lane being so peaceful or the stars above being so beautiful, maybe I never realised how perfect this place was before tonight. My anger subsided as soon as I reached here, as did Ron's I think as I look at him retracing his steps towards me.

"Why did you apperate all the way up the other side of the lane?" he shouts at me, as he makes his way to where I'm struggling through the snowdrift.

"Because Ronald, I know what your like." I say standing still on the crest of the hill. I point behind him as he comes up and joins me at my side.

"The Burrow looks perfect from this spot, I know you always stop here to look." I say turning to look at him. His gaze is falling over his family home. The moon lit cottage looked wonderful like something out of a chocolate box all covered in snow and light poring from the window.

"You wouldn't think that everything had happened." Said Ron resting his head on my shoulder and looking down the valley.

I take my eyes away from the view and find his eyes.

"Did you really cry over me?"

"The manly answer would be to say no, but lets face it I'm not much of a man." He rests his forehead against mine. "You know how I feel about you Hermione, I have told you and proven to you a thousand times over that you're the reason that I keep on going, you have seen the very best and the very worst of me. Harry knows how much I love you, he knows I would have died for you. We fight 'Mione that's what we do, that's our thing, if you haven't worked that out by now your not as clever as I had you made out."

"But you left me."

"Because I had to, and it killed me it really did." He sighed. "It felt like I was leaving a little bit of me behind every corner we turned, a little bit of me that I wished every day I could get back and hold."

I stare at his eyes in the darkness cast by the shadows of the moonlight.

"Yes I cried. I cried so hard sometimes, I wished that someone would just come and kill me, put me out of the pain. Being away from you for so long is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, harder than admitting that I was wrong, harder than thinking that you loved Harry, harder than any fight I have ever fought, don't you get it Hermione… I love you and I'm nothing without you, in the grand scheme of things a year out of a lifetime isn't anything, and I promise from now on I'm not going anywhere."

How do you answer something like that? I feel like my heart might actually explode, I can feel the tears stinging in my eyes, I know I won't cry though, he's right, one year in the grand scheme of things is nothing, I rest my head in to his hand that is now caressing my face. Despite the cold his hand is warm, his fingers warm me as much as his words.

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE KISS HIM WILL YOU. BEFORE I DO!"

Elzbeth's voice broke the moment. Ron looked over my shoulder…

"I'm with her! I would kiss you too mate after that little speech." Said Harry's voice as I bury my head in to Ron's chest; I can feel the laughter in his chest rising till it's in full flow.

"You two need to get a room." Says Elzbeth as her and Harry pass as the moon passes behind a cloud, I notice that Harry has her by the hand but I let it go.

"A little privacy would go a long way yes." I shout down the lane after the two of them. Elzbeth's dark hair swaying as she looks over her shoulder to pull a face before her and Harry cast their patroness down the lane before them.

Both Ron and me look at each other, we both noticed the same thing, Padfoot and Prongs had just lit the dark night sky.


End file.
